101 Things to Do While Still a Quarter Lifer

April 30, 2010

It was me. I totally came up with that whole, “1001 Places to See Before You Die” concept. Best selling books and a television series later and I am kicking myself in the ass for not putting it to paper.

But in pertinence for my sins I am going to pass onto you, my dear Quarter Lives reader some things you need to do…NOT BEFORE you necessarily die, but BEFORE you go into Mid Life. It’s not gonna be 1001 things either. I don’t have the time for that.

Let us get to it.

Before you are at least 33.3333 years old be sure to climb a mountain!

Now some of you may choose the symbolic kind, but I am encouraging you to find one of the geographical sense of the word. It does not have to be K2 or Everest. Your mountain might be a small peak in the Appalachia or all the stairs in the Empire State Building or your bathroom scale.

Seriously, commune with nature, strap on some stylish hiking gear, find your place in the world, seek the grandeur of creation, plant the flag and conquer! Plus, it kind of makes you look like a bad ass. Imagine at a bar…and believe me this works for dudes and chicks!

Little blonde coed trying to flirt with me: “So what did you do for Spring Break?”

Moi: “Couple buddies and me flew out to Africa and climbed Kilimanjaro. Yep, we wanted to see snowy peak, the white cap of the safari plains before the glacier melted due to global warming.”

Yea. I might have faked the Aussie accent accompanying the story. But the fact is I did climb that SOB and no one can take that from me ever. And later, after about seven rounds of Cuervo, the little coed and I created an embarrassing scenario we sort of, not really regretted in the morning. Sooooooooo. Go Climb a Frigging Mountain!

Now I am just gonna list it. That whole laziness thing again. If you want to know more, go buy the book when I get around to writing it.

101 Things to Do While Still a Quarter Lifer:

1. Clear your mind…totally…if only for a moment
2. Do the opposite of what you normally would do. Go to Planned Parenthood and pass out church pamphlets. Or go to a Baptist choir session and pass out condoms.
3. Go buy one of the following. Girl or Boy Scout manual. Or the US Army Basic Training Handbook. See if you can do everything in it, you punk. Betcha green arrow, red button, left, right left, A button won’t help you set a survival rabbit snare. Beeyatch!
4. Read Nietzsche, the Bible, Koran, Torah, Egyptian and Tibetan Book of the Dead…and any other religious head honcho books you can get hold of. And then realize they say all the same thing. And then be cool with it.
5. Give up or start a habit your parents will hate
6. Either go all the way and recycle everything or quit kidding yourself about newspapers and soda cans
7. Skinny dip
8. Create something with you own hands. Clay pot or redo that crappy Boy Scout bird feeder from 5th grade
9. Get off Facebook and, unless they come up with holograms, do not go for the next fly by night social networking website
10. Throw away all your grade school yearbooks. Really are you ever going to look at these again? If so-Should you?
11. Travel to an exotic location…and I mean exotic. Patagonia is cool…go ahead Google Earth it. You don’t even know where I am talking about do you?
12. Boycott most conveniences…make life a little more interesting
13. Stop watching Reality TV. Stop it. Right now. Go clear the DVR of all shows. Never, ever, ever watch anything “reality” unless it actually is on CNN and then beware of Wag the Dog journalism
14. You make it everyday. Go volunteer at a youth farm and shovel shit!
15. Make a couple more mistakes romantically…and LEARN from them!
16. Get back to nature. Pee outside for a week
17. Put on some body ink or have that nasty thing removed before you go for the sleeveless wedding gown
18. No matter how much it takes. Win something at the local fair or carnival. I got a Stewie Griffin doll with one dollar and one ball.
19. Find or nurture true love
20. Listen to all Stones’ and Beetles’ songs. Decide which kind of person you are.
21. Go on an archaeology dig
22. One week only…and do not miss that meeting or interview, remove all clocks and timepieces from your apartment, car, body and life
23. Find that someone who you want to be forgiven by or to forgive…make it happen
24. Okay I spoke about forgiving. If that is not your cup of tea. Seek and succeed big time revenge. Read the Count of Monte Cristo and go from there.
25. Put to practice the lost art of handwriting letters to those you care about
26. Drop one cuss word from your vocabulary
27. Add another
28. Learn to milk a cow…or something…not the girl down in apartment J1 or your parents for cash
29. Blog your little heart out and then on your 33rd birthday…stop giving everyone your damn opinion on everything. No one cares!
30. Enter a cooking contest. Best pie, BBQ, Chili…don’t matter
31. Grow up…or Don’t
32. Get a license in something cool. Pilots, SCUBA, CPR instruction, concealed handgun, etc.
33. Kids. You don’t have to make one just yet. If you do…sucks to be you cuz you should not be reading this column or website. You are not a 1/4 lifer. But, I digress. Do something for any child in your life, niece, cousin, kid on the corner, Boys and Girls Club…they all need us and you need them.
34. Coach a little league team
35. Spend 24 hours straight (potty times do not count) with your best boy or gal pal or both. Hey I am not here to judge
36. Finish your BA, BS, take the GRE, and get that Masters or PhD!
37. Learn a foreign language
38. Don’t just tithe, if you still are into that or even know the old Catholic ways. You are a ¼ Lifer! Quarter it. Give 25% of yourself to others at the very least. Cash is cool; make checks out to Jayce Scott. Seriously, we only have so much time here on this rock. Give it away cuz you aren’t taking it with you.
39. Save up at least $500 clams. On a bachelor/rette trip to Vegas, bet it all on black
40. Picnic, fly a kite, and take out a paddle boat…all that gay park stuff
41. Find a lawyer at a bar, befriend, buy him or her a beer…then when not looking sucker punch them in the face!
42. Find out how the other half (depends which half you are) lives
43. Invent a new recipe for something yummy!
44. Do more than Rock the Vote…be a part of the political process outside the ballot box
45. Drive Route 66. Just for kicks.
46. Check out the AFI list of 100 best movies of all time. Watch them!
47. Keep a journal…some day; someone might want to read it
48. Leave the change in the soda machine or put an extra dollar in for the next person
49. Hit up a therapist, priest, pastor, older person, sage, Dali Lama for some good old fashion advice
50. Find your old flame and catch up – no matter how long it has been
51. Learn your family’s history
52. Read all Shakespeare’s plays
53. Write a book, short story or novel
54. Freak yourself out!
55. Take a hike. A big one! Kind of like Wall of China hike!
56. Fulfill someone’s wish
57. The world has enough charity 5ks. Get off your ass and run, walk, crawl, swim, wheel a personal physical challenge. Triumph!
58. Get off or on prescription drugs that make life better and not mask it
59. Carpe Diem
60. Two words…Kuma Sutra. Or one sentence…master the art of a good lay for her, you, him…whatever!
61. Get the 501 pack of Crayons…go nuts!
62. Grapple, cage fight and then accept life is full of changes
63. Teach a kid how to make the perfect paper airplane. Come ‘on these little brats cannot do anything with helicopter parents swooping in or if it does not have a lit up button on it.
64. Skinny dip…did I already say that one?
65. For one week give up meat or if you are a vegan…go carnivore
66. Memorize all the state capitals
67. For the ladies, perfect the most awesome burger. For the gents, learn how to REALLY clean a bathroom
68. Trick or treat on Halloween
69. Girls, go get implants. Guys, go do some sit-ups. Okay the first one was really sexist. But, hey…I am a pig…what can I say?
70. Seriously. If you think bigger ta-ta’s will make you prettier than you have bigger issues. If you need smaller ones, it better be for back support problems
71. Reacquaint yourself with a childhood cartoon…buy the whole DVD box set
72. Write one poem
73. Take in a Fine Art. They have been around for 1000′s of years for a reason
74. Learn to sail, fly, scuba, kayak or any other “cool” sport
75. For one year give up your favorite something: Ex. Taco Bell, ice cream, internet porn, etc.
76. Pay off your debts
77. Everyday do something nice for someone you don’t know from Adam
78. Don’t hang out during school hours, but go tryout the swings and titter totter again
79. Get a baby pet and raise it to be a constant companion
80. Change a tire, learn how to swim, boil water…and anything else a bi-polar Santa’s elf should know. Geez…you never changed a tire? Lame!
81. Build the ultimate tree house. For yourself or those above mentioned kiddos
82. Visit some place regarded as a holy or spiritual spot. Stonehenge, Notre Damn, Lasso, Lambeau Field, Lourdes, Vatican…and treat it with respect!
83. Karaoke for just one last time. Please, God or God make it the last time Carol!
84. Give up Urbaneese. Speak clearly. Pronounce things correctly. Hone in your accent, no matter where you are from. Go watch my Fair Lady.
85. Say good morning, afternoon, evening, etc…and frigging mean it
86. Get on the Board of Directors at some arts, volunteer, social, etc organization
87. Find a classy drink. Gin & tonic. Scotch and soda. Vodka martini with no frou-frou names.
88. Except the fact that the BCS and NFL are fixed!
89. Find the worst fault in yourself and conquer it
90. Learn the art of massage, floral design, ballroom dancing, small guns shooting, peasant French cooking and Japanese tea service
91. Clutter free your life. Get down to the bare essentials. Ex. If no one would buy it or you would never put it in a garage sale…keep it. Otherwise chunk that crap.
92. For one month give up tech crap
93. Visit and spend quality time with older relatives…they will not be here forever. And if Grammy has kicked the bucket, visit her grave, say a little prayer and remember the good or bad…and move on.
94. Stop the Farmville madness. Tend a garden and EAT something you grow!
95. Break the rules, maybe misdemeanor…I would stay clear of felonies
96. For one day take a vow of silence. This one I put in on the advice of your friends.
97. Stop playing video games. The Matrix is so 1999.
98. Find and preserve the perfect fall leaf, your favorite flower, family or friend photo, fridge art from your childhood, etc.
99. Fart as loud as you can in an elevator. Admit it. Laugh like a crazy person and feel the trip of ultimate power!
100. Stop reading lists
101. Really you need to stop reading useless list…except the ones I pixilated…those are gold. From heaven, to my finger tips, to your eyes. That is at least what I told my last girlfriend…well she is my fiancée now.

Famous Quarter Life Last Words

April 18, 2010

Ever heard the saying about a road to somewhere being paved with good intentions? I am pretty sure you also recall something about hindsight being 20/20. These are the great words of wisdom parents use on youth. Rest assured, you will use them on your kiddos as well.

But as a still 1/4 maturing adult, you will still need them on your 1/4 life highway, where you will be laying your share of good intentions asphalt and looking back with perfect and corrected vision. During all this roadwork you will also make use of many a F.Q.L.L.W. or the infamous, Famous Quarter Life Last Word.

As new fads and fashions dictate, some F.Q.L.L.W. wax and wane while others pop out to match the fast living life of YOU. Today’s fresh-faced twenty-something have adapted the F.Q.L.L.W. to suit their own emotional and physical needs. After all, the F.Q.L.L.W. is a young dude or dudette’s verbal right or moral excuse or delusional vamping to use when and how they see fit.

On the path of a half of a half adulthood, you will have opportunities galore to use the F.Q.L.L.W. by putting your foot in your mouth, getting the last laugh, having your say and generally doing something that will embarrass you later in life…ah good times!

And I am tired of copying and pasting F.Q.L.L.W. So here are just those words…

“During the (insert break, weekend, software upgrade, holiday, fire drill, etc) I will catch up.”
Again, right!

“I so aced that!”
It may be more collegiate vernacular, but still fits. Funny how ace comes to mean a grade of C or a Power Point on your marketing proposal comes back with all the assistant directors taking a tinkle on it just to mark their scent. Ergo, minor bullet point or spelling change, but “I am higher up on the managerial food chain and gave some input” kind of scent. Has the bouquet of a fine cow patty of machismo or the ruddy musk of a competitive co-worker on the rag.

“I could have sworn I had twenty dollars in my account.”
The cash cow ATM did not buzz.

“Don’t worry…I’ll pay you back.”
Yea….right!

“I am going to start going to bed earlier.”
Ha. Ha. Ha. Oh wait you were serious…I’m sorry. No…I cannot fake it…snicker…really? Good luck with that.

“He or she will text back. Call back. Email back. Blog back. FaceBook update back.”
Chill. If it was meant to be than it shall. But best never to rely of anything electronic with REAL human relationships.

“I set my alarm.”
Oh, such a classic!

“You hold it and I will light the fuse.”
PLEASE, don’t try this at anytime.

“I was told steam yoga, circus style pilates, belly dancing…etc is the best way to lose weight.”
No matter the fad. Here is the sure way to lose weight. With the advice of your medical professional…eat less, MOVE around MORE!

“Shoot straight you bastards and don’t make a mess of it!”
Okay…that is more of REAL last…LAST words.

“I will get back to you later.”
Friends, family, flings, flirts…all of them…and you…all too easily forget or accidentally/purposely blow off the other.

“I will clean up later.”
Spare me.

“Just one more…(anything… mini-burrito, slice, shot, kiss, hour of sleep, etc.)”
Funny how just one more can add up so quickly.

“Surely, my boss will buy the excuse I got H1N1.”
Did you hear that? It was the tiny and unmistakable sound of sweating it out stress.

Okay the next one is a little off the charts crude…but I want to make a point.
“AIDS schmades… 80’s. And he/she is healthy cool. We’ll just…wow that feels good…well just wait a minute…no I do not have one…oh my gosh…!”
Okay, the little label on the beer claims no one should drink while pregnant. Well, most people get a bun in the oven because of the little label and the contents of said beverage. Look…besides getting an HPV vaccine now at 13 years old for little girls, dental dams, Goodyear tire corporation making condoms…there are something like hepatitis A through Z-2.0 nowadays. No glove equals no love does not even matter anymore. Hell, you make out and you get the chance of cold-sore’ing it the rest of your life. Be smart.

And the most famous of all famous last words:
“I’ll just close my eyes for a minute.”
Don’t worry, this one never goes away completely…you will say this one the rest of your life!

The Quarter Life can be a wonderful time to experiment with a variety of plans, hopes and dreams that may or may not come to fruition. Yet, like a properly used F.Q.L.L.W. all will lead to learning valuable life lessons.

One last F.Q.L.L.W.

“I just cannot find the time…”
Stop txtN. Hng^ up. Turn off da laptop or now the IPad. And get on with that quarter life!

Activism Alert: Senate Bill 6

April 9, 2010

We here at QL are a tad biased. We mostly hail from Florida and thus know about all things Disney, orange related, and Bush family scandals. We’re also mostly all products of the Florida Public School System.

Here’s were the activism comes in. Senate Bill 6 just passed the Florida Legislature. Its a terrible bill that puts educators on par with used car salesmen. With the enactment of this bill, teachers will be held financially responsible for the performance of their kids. I don’t know about you, but when I slacked off it wasn’t because my teacher wasn’t trying. It was because I was a teenager who wanted to talk with my friends in class instead of conjugating verbs in Spanish.

More than that, good, experienced teachers aren’t going to want to work in the low performing schools where at-risk children really need them. This bill will set education in Florida back decades. Not only is Florida at risk, but other states are proposing similar bills. The legislature has passed the bill and it is sitting on Charlie Crist’s desk. Take a second and give the governor a call telling him to VETO SENATE BILL 6. I’ll even Google that for you:

Phone number: (850) 488-4441
Fax number: (850) 487-0801
Email address: Charlie.Crist@myflorida.com

A Quarterlifer Abroad Part 3: A Costa Rica Love Story

April 8, 2010

One of our writers, Alli Whalen, is teaching English in Costa Rica for a few months. Check back in for her updates on living a quarterlife abroad.

We stood behind the gates of the school in the dark, hoping we wouldn’t be seen. I had called my colleague over to come and watch as soon as I heard the singing and saw the procession moving toward us in the distance. It’s Holy Week, or Semana de Santa, here in Costa Rica and I was witnessing something altogether new to me, and I knew it was going to be beautiful. A group of 80 people or so walked slowly down a side street in the Guardia community where I teach Tuesday and Thursday evenings. They moved with gentle purpose as they came closer and closer, and I feared they would enter the school yard and find us standing there, dumbfounded, being the gringos that we were. Instead, they kept walking past the school toward a small altar table the other teacher and I had noticed on our way to class.

Sleepy-looking toddlers were held by their parents, who walked among other members of their community. There were teenagers and the elderly, all singing something beautiful. I didn’t even mind that I couldn’t translate the lyrics – I wouldn’t have wanted to lose that original moment. They passed us like a blue whale would pass a lifeboat: ominously but peacefully, posing no threat. A few minutes later they walked back, singing more softly but staying together. I was mellowed and moved by the experience: the beautiful unknown. Later, Carmen, the ONLY student who showed up to class that day (Semana de Santa is the equivalent of Easter holidays) explained that there were seven stations or events, like the one we had just witnessed, that the community would attend for the religious holiday. We didn’t have much of a class that night considering only one student showed up, but I felt so lucky to have been there to see the quiet, raw grace of those Guardians coming together.

Organized religion has not been imposing here, despite its popularity. Jesus appears on the backs of busses, students’ notebooks, signs (I saw one rather confusing sign saying the Spanish equivalent of “Jesus is my homeboy” above a watermelon stand – interesting marketing technique), in music and of course in the church I pass by each day. Here, Christianity is part of life, but it doesn’t seem to set the rules; religion is equivalent to family dinner or going to school – it brings people together in a positive, peaceful way.

Like most holidays, people visit family and do things together, like go to the beach or out to eat. Our teaching life has slowed down as a result of this, and also because we are doing a grand switchover: alas, the teachers who have been here for the past five weeks are departing, and a new batch have arrived. While I will be staying here for another month, I have passed the torch on to several new teachers who will be taking over my classes.

It was a very tough decision to figure out if I wanted to spend another “semester” teaching, or if I wanted to dedicate more time to running the volunteer teaching program with my boyfriend, and to supervise classes and support the teachers. I chose the latter, because it seemed to be the best of all worlds, but I still miss my students so much! When I broke the news to my Guardia class, they actually froze, their expressions shocked and appalled: they didn’t want me to go! They immediately told me they didn’t want a new teacher, whined that they wanted me to stay and didn’t move when I told them class was dismissed. They stayed late to gather around my desk and asked me to sign their backpacks and take pictures. I felt like someone famous as I wrote my name in whiteboard marker on the fabric of their bags – they liked me, they really liked me! One of my favorite students (yes, I have favorites – I try not to show it but some of them blow me away with their enthusiasm for taking part in class, and their respect for learning), Carlos, contradicted me when I said I was Canadian. “Soy Canadiense!” I exclaimed. He shook his head and I thought he didn’t understand; I came up to his desk and he looked up at me smiling and said quietly, “No. YOU are Costa Rican.” Well. I wanted to cry and fly at the same time. Many of the other teachers were given gifts and food by their students as going away presents, but I wouldn’t trade the high honour that was bestowed upon me for any physical object. Unfortunately, a local teen’s approval doesn’t get me official dual citizenship! Still, I would do those five weeks over again if it meant holding on to that unique feeling of acceptance and appreciation.

It’s funny – I’ve been thinking about how I will be staying here for another whole month; what I haven’t been thinking about until recently was how much I don’t want to have to pack up my bags and leave this place. I remember, near the end of our first week here, that I felt I was falling for Costa Rica. It wasn’t too serious then, but I felt that we had a strong connection. Well, sucks to your asthmar, old me! I am in love with this town, with this unique landscape and its smiling people. I love seeing the friendly guy at the local grocer learn to say “watermelon” and “pineapple” when we come to buy fruit. I love that the woman leaning against the counter at the fried chicken place was patient and grinned the most gorgeous smile as we hummed and hawed over our order. I love that the colour and salinity of each beach here is a little different. I love the quesadillas and batidos at the Panama Beach Club, and the sign that says “It’s beer-thirty” even though it’s cheesy. I love the amazing cotton dresses from the little pink shop in Coco that smells like rainforest leaves. I love the man with the fu-man-chu mustache and no bottom teeth who is the ringleader of the crazy taxi vendors who stand outside the airport, yelling at the shell-shocked, newly arrived tourists like the paparazzi on Oscar night. I love the guys who bike around selling chilled coconuts in a cooler, hacking a drinking hole in the giant seed with a machete so you can drink the sweet water inside. I especially love the puppy who is snoozing beside me, settling nicely into her temporary, new home (it’s a big change from the classroom she was found in, emaciated and shivering). I even love the sand on the floor, on my feet, in my swimsuit, in my mouth (gotta love that telltale crunch after a day of sunbathing) in my hair, on the roads, and of course on the breathtaking beaches. Quarterlife, midlife or any-part-of-life, try stepping outside the box and doing something like this, whether you’re travelling, teaching, writing or just taking it all in.

Last night, a bunch of us swam in the new neighourhood pool that has finally been filled, and afterward played movie trivia games and drank homemade pina coladas. The moon was full and had a wide, white ring around it. I know it’s supposed to mean something, but I couldn’t remember what. I think I’ll put my money on a sign of good times had, and good times to come. Pura vida!

Career Exploration

April 5, 2010

Career development while in the Quarter Life phase is an on-going decision, yoga job stretching process…full of trials, tribulations, tragedy and triumph…& that’s just looking for work on Careerbuilder.com.

Jobs…shmobs…blobs…

You need to pay rent. But, you also need to find fulfillment in a career; not just a paycheck. Career preparation is really a search that encourages you to accept individual responsibility for your life. Sounds all adult like don’t it?

I would say there are three stages of career development. It is very familiar theme from your recent alma mater day career center pamphlet:

Your Self-Assessment

Your to-do career examination

You! Going for it!

Your Self-Assessment
Stage one provides an important base for finding your career. As you learn about yourself and about occupations, you become better prepared to make better career choices. Before you begin or ya might have just begun exploring careers and trying to identify jobs which will prove satisfying, you must first develop a true understanding of your self, skills, interests, values, and personality characteristics. You might want to take one of those skills sets psych tests…Myers Briggs and all that.

But, you also might want to just take some serious time to reflect on what drives you, motivates, makes ya happy…and if it will indeed pay the rent. Dr. John Koldus III, former VP of Student Affairs at Texas A&M University once told personally told me, “Jayce. Find something you love that someone else will pay you to do.” Good advice.

¼ Skills
What are my strengths & weaknesses?
What are my most prominent capabilities?
Yes, I can text 65 words a minute, one third prize at Karayoke/Pole Dance Night at the Bronze Club and I occasionally talk down my suicidal roommate. Just means you might be good at writing, table dancing or therapist. All pay good.
What skills do I want to use in a career?
What talents do I need to acquire for a career?

Kid to teen to 1/4 life…Values
What do I seek or value in a career? Out of life?
How must I be challenged and rewarded?
In what type of environment would I be happy?
What are some definite places I would NOT be happy? Funny, it is always most easy to pick out the destinations, careers, people you never want to be associated with.

Interests
What am I interested in doing?
What activities have I enjoyed the most?
What kind of people would I like to work around?
I like finger painting…but not a high paying, in demand kind of career. But, you could go back for an art therapy degree. And that is the way you need to think…you can do anything…just do it smart.

Again, self-Assessment is the first and most important step in career development during the Quarter Life. If you are willing to invest the time and effort, you should be able to use this self-assessment mantra to identify career options that are most appropriate for you.

Whether you are about to graduate or have already made that “mistake.” Oh, come on…like you wouldn’t return in a second. I mean really? You would rather be out there in ground hog cube farms, paying $10 a drink and having no books to sell back for beer money? Okay…your life. Jobs and careers just don’t fall of trees in this economy.

Yet, most college career centers offer several options in terms of resources and services to help you conduct a self-assessment inventory. Stop in or call your career center to schedule an appointment to discuss the process and how they might be able to help.

Friends are a great resource. When they are high or not…amigos can give great insight into areas of your life, YOU just never realized or were too ego-delusional to ponder. Family is a sticky one. Some parentals handle the career path well, others want to live through you, some want just the best, but really do not know the correct route for YOU.

Finally, there is just the go out and try a few jobs. Feedback from experience is the best kind of feedback.

Your to-do career examination
The Career Examination stage is best described as the “information gathering” phase. Essentially, you will gather as much information as you can about potential careers in order to make an educated career decision. “Educated” it the key word here. Never go blind into a career decision. Also, as you go through the lists of potential careers, be open-minded. Don’t discount a career until you have done some research.

Make a Wish List
It is likely that there are several career possibilities you have already thought about, but are not sure of. Make a list of them…no career idea is too small or insignificant or TOO BIG!
• Again, talk with your family & friends and ask them for their ideas for career possibilities.
• Go through the want ads or job listings and e-clip out those that interest you.
• Attend career programs, panels, or seminars to learn about different career fields.
• Surf that old WWW til you just want to find a newspaper and do things the old fashion way.
• Talk to participants at career fairs to find out about their jobs and careers.
• Take a other college or certification course to see if you like it and are good at using new skills.
• Dream big!

Gathering General Information
One place to start your career search is with literature. There is information written about every career field. The information will provide general overviews of career fields giving the types of jobs which are available, working conditions, environments, employment outlooks, qualifications and credentials required. You Bing, Google or Yahoo it…and there will be ten million others doing the same. And that last point is a big one. You are one of 6 billion people…jobs, careers and opportunities are tight…if you find your path, don’t walk, jog or wog…sprint to it!

Gathering First Hand Information
One of the best ways to obtain career information is to talk with someone who is working in the field which you have an interest. An informational interview is an excellent way to gather first-hand information about a particular job. Regardless of what reality television has taught our generation. Most people or not insane assholes. People are more than happy to tell you the good…and especially the bad of a career choice.

You Going For It!
From your research and experiences you should be ready to choose one of the options available to you. If not…that is cool. All in good time. Patience young Jedi. It is OK to pursue several career possibilities at the same time, but ultimately you will choose one over the others (at least for the time being). Many ¼ life types have pursued several career options at one time and then opted for the one that fell into just the right place. The course of action you choose will depend on where you are in terms of “getting to know you and the world.” Good luck!

Remember…the average number of jobs for a Quarter Lifer is 7. Just because you say yes to a cube. Just because you got one pink slip. Just because you made a bad call on salary. Just because you moved to Kansas to be near to the love of your life, who ended up cheating while you were actually driving cross country in the U-Haul! Does not mean that is where you are stuck for life. Careers like significant others, like a dating scene, like friend who come and go, like grade school yearbook photos, change. You are changing big time in the .25 life phase…let your career path do the same!

Wanna make some money doing something stupid?

April 2, 2010

More than Myth is providing just that opportunity. Check out the contest at their site. All you need to do is tell a fantastic story about something you’ve done in your quarterlife. Best story gets $5000. If you pledge to use that money doing something elsefantastic, you get another 5k and get published. So go tell your story!

Grinds my Gears II

April 2, 2010

Grindings…harder, drier and scratchier than any rusty or human nail across a chalk board. Or that rash you really need to get checked out. Neosporin has not worked and the WebMD symptom tracker says you should have worn protection or if you were younger and not a ¼ lifer you could have gotten the HPV vaccination. Either way, sucks to be you. In the mean time, while you are in the waiting room or biting your nails over your blood work, you can read about my moans and groans…what grinds my gears!

It grinds my gears quarter lifers have no sense of fashion, no clothing Mecca to shop at, no real idea what decade they reside in. The idea to look grungy is not Grunge. The Gap is long gone. Banana Republic and Old Navy are passé. And the whole idea of mix matching skinny jeans, 70’s bell bottoms, remake classic t-shirts, Justice pink, bling and the Polo horse for camp value…just is a recipe for a fashionista dictatorship to take power.

Bret Favre. He is the Achilles of football. As a student of the Classics, a football fan, gamer of fantasy sports, follower of the church of the Dallas Cowboys…I get it. He is Achilles. Go read the Iliad or rent that Brad Pitt craptacular “Troy” and you will see the parallels.

Remakes, prequels, sequels and any other digital, colloid product out of Hollywood. It would not be so bad if Bay, Spielberg, etc did not mess with the product, keeping a balance between fresh and old. If the new “Karate Kid” is now African American (Will Smith’s kid get $20 million for being related), should this summer’s block-buster, the A-Team’s Mr. T, (aka BA Baracus) be played by Seth Rogen? Not a race thing…just want to keep things in balance.

Lists. Quarter lifers have grown up with these. The internet and VH1 are really to blame. Hell, I am doing one right now! Argggh!

The environment. Mother Nature has been bitching to our generation for a couple of decades now. She is like the crazy whore reality show chick. Always wanting attention, you never know what she is going to do…and she drinks too much. I say we vote her off. I needs my SUV, wants my gallon of milk in a plastic grocery bag and I am sorry if my Nerf gun foam rubber bullets will not decay for 10,000 years.

Cell phone and digital cameras. If I wanted to see every college aged kid owned with Sharpie markers, every chick taking a pic of her thong in the mirror, every Mentos Diet Coke chugging moron…well I would combine Comedy Central’s Tosh.0, American’s Favorite Home Videos and produce it on the Playboy Channel. And none of that pussy, no one got hurt crap. If the cat got hit by the car, or the dude fell off the crane into a Calcutta tire recycling plant grinder…I want to see it.

Since I was in college I was hit during test cramming and internet term paper plagiarism with commercials for Girls Gone Wild. For ten years now those DVDs have given males the false hope, that chicks like this exist in infinite numbers at every party, club and Spring Break beaches. Okay, some girls like those viewed (numerous times) herd in great numbers on Bourbon Street. Yet, these morally corrupt documentaries have also taught a number of Quarter Lifer chicas to act like drunken, sex crazed morons. If you are 5’4” and 203 lbs…DO NOT SIGN ANY DOCUMENT, WAIVER, POWER OF ATTORNEY…EVER! Even in the New Orleans French Quarter. Finally, see above. Completing the triangle…everyone has a damn camera to document their own version of GGW. Which outside of the production values are just so embarrassing.

For the guys…razor blades. How many more blades, quantum laser guided, lube strips does it take to get a decent shave? Every time the Gillette evil scientists come up with a new one, the previous models go dull or disappear altogether. And the costs! Shit you know it is bad when I have to take up a card to the Walgreen’s and CVS pharmacists to purchase blades and nasal decongestant tablets. Cuz ya know…all meth lab owners keep a nice, groomed goatee.

The Emergency Broadcast System. Really folks? Really? This is gonna save you and I from impeding doom? If so, there should be a test of the EBS before the beginning of a broadcast day for the CW, Oxygen, E!, Hallmark, VH1, MTV2 channels or any CSI series.

Obama…there I said it. I am tired of the name, the GQ covers, Fox’s bitching about liberal conspiracies, MSNBC bitching about Fox. That whole American Revolution experiment thing just did not work out. I have a feeling monarchy is going to make a big comeback.

Bonus!

What the hell? Spielberg, Harrison Ford, Lucas…you are thinking about Indiana Jones V? Fuck! That’s it…I am done, outta here. I would gladly have my gears grinded by taking an alien anal probe if the Martians would just take me away from this obvious pain in the ass earthly existence. The movies already rape me for $8 a matinee. They should at least take me to dinner or kiss me good night.