Life After College…The Book!

January 17, 2011

When we started this site, there were only a few people who even knew what a Quarterlife Crisis was. There had been a few studies and a few books, but anyone you told about it laughed. “Of course life isn’t what you thought it would be,” we heard. Well why didn’t you tell us that?

Now, three years later, there has been a vast increase in the resources for those of us experiencing the crisis. Many of those resources written by people who have actually gone through it and come out the better. Our goal was to let people know, you aren’t alone.

Now, one of our favorite bloggers has written a book! Jenny Blake works at Google in career development and is a life coach to boot. She’s a lovely person who obsesses about cupcakes- so that makes her an ideal person to take advice from. She has a blog that inspired her upcoming book.

We suggest reserving your copy now. Congrats to Jenny!

I miss my Willy

January 17, 2011

…Today I was reflecting on the big bad whole idea of life. And not just
my Quarter Life either.

I do my best pondering while in the shower, so if you need that visual,
consider it a freebee.

Sadly I remember this was a day when a particularly good buddy of mine
made a terrible decision to end his life. Some of the reasons we
understand, others he took with him when he put the 9 mm up to his temple.
Maybe I thought about it because of the Rutgers tragedy…something sparked
it. I had not used a brain cell on the memory and its issues in years.

Good guy. Still miss him.

Yet, as I sent up a little prayer, hoped for the best and was thankful for
his short life and my time in it…I rescued my morning
get-ready-for-the-day-time with the simple question, “What would I tell my
friend, life is like in 2010, what he had missed in the past ten years?”
How would he have grown to adulthood in a Gen X/Y-post-Y2K-post-9-11ish

He was RIP in 2000. It is now closing in on the later part of 2010.

Well, Willy…he liked to be called that. Okay I lie. He hated it. His name
was Benjamin, which came from William, which made itself into Bill, but we
razed his ass so much because we heard his girlfriend call out the “Willy”
nickname during a college dorm room sexcapade where he thought those
university constructed walls would block out noise and give him the
exclusiveness of a sincere romantic getaway on a Student Life issued
standard housing twin mattress.

So Willy…here is what you missed for the Quarter Life. And prepare for

Not much changed and then everything did as well…

Let me summa up for you in a top ten. That will make it easier for both of
us. You and I loved Letterman. Yep, he is still here. But Conan took over
for NBC big chin, then fired him, forced O’Brian into a WTBS show with
Lopez. And Letterman pulled a Clinton and sexed up a bunch of his interns.
Sans cigars.

Plus a sum-up is quicker. You are probably all busy up there in Heaven
where the Cowboys still win Super Bowls, Boy Bands never roamed the earth,
Spears was still hot and underage…etc. And no one ever knew what the fudge
a Harry Potter was except as a stoner weed dude with dreadlocks. “What?
Owe you have been getting some buzz up there in Heaven about Miley?
Well…that might take more time than we have here. Just remember Satan is
not the only evil force in the universe. Pass that along to the Big Guy.”

And yes…I will be using quote marks when I psychic channel Willy. SyFy’s
“Ghost Hunters” taught me how.

10. Some crazy dudes flew some 727 jets into the World Trade Center. The
world, the economy, the fears and phobias of people fell like the
buildings. That is about the biggest thing. Oh and that we got caught in a
land war in Asia. “Ya…ya I know the movie Princess Bride, Soviet invasion
of Afghanistan and Vietnam told us not to do it. But we did. Actually two
wars in Asia…at the same time!”

9. Lady Gaga makes Madonna and Britney Spears look like Romper Room. I
remember your older brother when he had a crush on Debbie Gibson. Oh, she
did a spread for Playboy in 2005.

8. OJ is still out there. Yes, even after another crime spree of breaking
and entering, robbery, attempted kidnapping in Vegas, the juice and his
Heisman are still on the loose. Oh, they also just had to take back a
Heisman from another USC thug for NCAA cheating. Oh, and while on the
subject of sports. Before you tagged out, you were stuck with Mark
McGuire. Yep. His homerun zingers were blown away by Barry Bonds. But both
have admitted to rampant steroid use, so some dude branded Bonds’ Hall of
Fame ball with an asterisk. And Tiger is still a golfing god. I think he
owns Dubai, but he ended up getting 9-ironed by his Swede model wife for
banging something like 101 IHOP waitresses.

7. Cell phones are still the rage, but now we text. Even better. We talk
into our phones, they process the verbiage into text and then send it to
our friends. Not as actual vocal words, but even more text. Its like an
impersonal fax coming over your wireless. “Ya, ya, I totally know. We
tried the whole Marconi, Bell and Star Trek thing to instantly communicate
with everyone at anytime, but it seems we like taking steps backwards.
Pretty soon I think paper cup and string will be back in fashion.”

6. No flying cars. Matter of fact. Toyotas cannot break. I mean like they
cannot come to a stop. Pontiac, Buick, Saab, Saturn, Oldsmobile are gone.
Mercedes still cost out the ass, but they are made here in the US. Detroit
is dead, but do not worry. We have stickers on new cars which tell the
buyer all auto parts were made in Mexico, but the actual Ford Explorer is
assembled in the US. Oh, SUVs and Hummers are the douche bag eco-terror
hag’s greatest evil since Hitler. Buy a Kia…but don’t go for the warranty.
Word to the wise. North Korea has the bomb now. And so does India,
Pakistan and all those little, tiny corrupt former Soviet Republics. Oh,
Iran is 6 months from making a nuke, but we are all crossing our fingers
the UN will save our asses. “Chuckle”

5. Bush Jr. won in 2000. Don’t even ask me how. It would take too
long…Jesus would probably decide on that Second Coming thing, before I
could properly explain it to you. Just remind J-Man to smite everyone in
Florida. Then Mrs. Clinton became Sec of State. Yep…never got rid of those
families. Now…and hold onto your conservative pants. A black dude named
Hussein won the White House. “No shit! The same dude named after Iraq’s
Saddam? Oh…the later. We went to war (see above) with him and noosed him.
Not as messy as what you did, but just as effective.”

“What? Too soon Willy? Seriously, I know you and I are not bigots, but no
one had money on this 2008 election. Yep, he ran against McCain…ya I know
he is still alive, that dude is like 909ish. But our current media Prez
also beat a dude named Huckabee. So some name like Obama is not all that
bad. President Huckabee…yuck, yuck. Bring me my banjo. Something…something
about bird in hand, two in a Bush. No sexual innuendo intended.”

4. Women do not have to get periods. Yep. Some sort of commercial about
O-rings, that you shove somewhere, so somehow you do not have to put up
with that old Mother Nature, Aunt Flow. “Huh? Well, I don’t know Willy. I
suppose that stuff has to go somewhere.” Never mind the eggs. We have ’19
Kids and Counting’ and the ‘Octo Mom!’ television shows. You don’t even
have to have a dude around. You can pick your kids off the internet, get a
turkey baster and wham. You want blue eyes? Sure. You want his father to
be a PhD? Sure. It’s like genetic engineering, and Nazi selective
breeding, but with the condolences of your health plan and the popular
trend to adopt children out of the US. “Oh, Willy…you would be so lost.
Remember the Benetton ads of so long ago? Well, there are so many families
walking around which look like a meeting of the UN.”

3. Reality television. Just before you kicked off. Which was a bummer by
the way. You probably caught the phrase, “Voted off the island.” Well, it
did not stop there. Now we have pretty much a telecast (ummmm…there are no
antennas nowadays. The Federal gov’t, FCC confiscated those bandwidths to
sell off to Verizon, New Jersey shore types, wannabe gigolos and whores
selling themselves off for a celebrity book tour, cooking shows and
Dancing Your Ass Off…) “Huh?…oh. Well it is this show where, well they
actually have lots of programming where they exploit fat people. Nope. No.
Ummm. Trump is still around, but no one cares about good looking people
like Miss USA, not unless you first put out a porn video. Sort of like a
rite of passage. Oh…just remembered. No one has hair anywhere except on
their heads…ANYWHERE!”

2. 3-D. Yep. All this technology and we have NOT gone to Mars, NOT
discovered new life, NOT stopped death, starvation, disease (some new
buggers are actually making a comeback…you want the plague? She is all
the rage in India these days), NOT stopped war, NOT stopped the Golden
Girls from being rebroadcast over and over. Betty White is running for the
US Senate. Ok…the last part was a lie. But she is all powerful
nonetheless. 3-D. The same crap from the 50’s. The same crap we all see
in, everyday, is like the total bomb. Yep, they are even making T.V.s in
3-D. Cannot wait to see the newest court room drama about a young lawyer
trying to just make a damn difference in a cold, indifferent NYC.
“Man…it’s like the gavel and her bosom are coming right of the television!
Look out! Oh that was just the seam from her pants suit. This HD is f’ing

And the number one thing you did or did not miss from the past ten years…

1. Saturday Night Live still sucks ass. Nope. Never recovered from the
90’s uber wonderful cast. Oh, uber is a word for cool.

So dude. You did not miss much. We are still at war on poverty, hate,
sexism, intolerance, movie sequels, prequels and reboots, hunger, disease,
ignorance, France, war itself, economic exploitive cultures, media over
load, the Draconian Ants of Cegus V…”Oh I did not tell you about the ants?
Yea. Ummm, they like got here right after you left. And ‘frankly I welcome
our new ant overlords,’ As Kent Brockman once said.”

Willy. Wish you were still around. My Quarter Life has had its up and
downs…matter of fact. It has been pretty bitching. But as a decades go?
Meh. Let us all hope time is cyclical and we can hook up again. Let us say
something bad ass like Omaha Beach during Normandy, or the Ice Bowl and I
am QB’ing, or the creek where you and I met up with Tammy and Michelle for
a little midnight swim…or just that I might be able to have you around
through my QL issues and maybe, maybe I could have helped you through
yours. Love you dude!

P.S. I was not kidding about the Miley Cyrus thing…seriously anytime the
angelic multitudes want to get off their collective asses and smite Viacom
the better.