South Park Raised Me!

March 3, 2011

South Park Raised Me
By: Jayce Scott

Okay I get it. I did not need and will not need the next two cinematic installments of James Cameron’s “Avatar” money machine to remind once more, that I am a horrible human being, a white male to boot, who baby rapes mother earth every day and is responsible for every evil which has every occurred.

I get it.

It just took a little longer for Orwell and “1984” to come about. But, I get it. The constant bombardment on the QL generations by all forms of corporate, social & government media marketing about how they can live better with less, put up with more crap for more money, sticks & stones still hurt, words will get you sued, all can be excused with the term “lifestyle choice”, hope is better than action and that everything is going to get either better or soon the earth will resemble the surface of Venus. It all worked. I get it.

Yet, we only have ourselves to blame. Trey Parker and Matt Stone have been with us for over 13 years and they warned us. They have books out on South Park philosophy, they teach courses on it at Cornell…and of course Berkley. All we needed to know came over the broadcast, basic cable annals of South Park every Wednesday night. You know…the place where our generation decided its largest ethical issues. They foretold this us. They predicted this world would come to be.

Why did we not listen? I doubt they care…they are worth like something maybe on the order of a Google dollars now!

Top ten things South Park taught me about going green, dealing with social networking, phantom economics, human biology and living a Quarter Life with meaning and…maybe…maybe a little more dignity:

10. Driving a Prius does indeed make you pretentious.
9. Not eating meat will turn you into a pussy.
8. Wal-Mart is not evil. If you don’t like to shop there, don’t.
7. Farting is natural, but do so in moderation. It is a greenhouse gas after all.
6. People like the famous Cartman; most of the time out number us and usually get away with being who they are. Assholes.
5. Everything in the rainforest is either trying to eat you, sting, poison you or shoot you and thus we should chop that whole f’ing thing down.
4. All crimes are hate crimes.
3. Respect “authority!”
2. Getting an anal probe is natural and very probable these days. Alien or otherwise.
1. That cartoons make more sense than real life any day.

If we went by timelines, the South Park boys, Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny would all be in the Quarter Life. Just graduating this May in fact. I also imagine they would be more socially and mentally adjusted than their predecessors. Sadly, a lot more ready for the real world than most of us, other ¼ lifers.

And I am not sure how I am even going to finish the point of this article because it tends to circle back on itself. Is it a better or worse world or is there hope for tomorrow that we put our faith more in a cartoon? Or because we have a significant number of wandering twenty-somethings, who wander a lot more and for a lot longer these days because cartoons were there.

Why did some of us get our social commentary news from Yahoo and E! and not listen to the wisdom of the Seth MacFarlane’s and Matt Groening‘s?

I know how to drive the point home and end this piece. South Park’s Chef would make things always better with a song. “I going to make love to you baby, take you down by the fire, and caress your tender body with wild and desireee…”

Did not help much, but it makes for a nice wrap up.