Buy Antabuse Without Prescription

July 16, 2010

Buy Antabuse Without Prescription, I was up late one night and surfing television channels. I had no Netflix, Where can i buy cheapest Antabuse online, the DVR was on the rag, the Red Box was empty and I was just so Facebooked out with the web. Ergo, Antabuse recreational, I was bored. Antabuse reviews, Well, I came across a late night home shopping channel. This particular infomercial segment was putting the wares up for sale with the usual call-ins, generic Antabuse, hand models, Buy generic Antabuse, "if you call in the next fifteen minutes..." monologues, etc.

Only thing different was the items ranging from $9.99 to a whopper of $149.99 (you'll get the whopper comment in a second)...were the full range of sex toys, Buy Antabuse Without Prescription. Dildos, Antabuse price, coupon, vibros, Antabuse pics, gels, condoms, butt plugs with enema pump included...oh my, Antabuse class. And my favorite was the silver bullet. Antabuse from canada, You insert it into some orifice and then whenever your boy or girlfriend cell calls said goes off with a surprise vibration. I am not sure what Twittering it would do. Buy Antabuse Without Prescription, Now this was a classy show. Nothing pervy, Antabuse street price. I did not feel like I was going to get an extra line item on my pay per view cable bill or that I needed to wash my eyeballs or hands. Online buying Antabuse, What did make it a little creepy was the seemingly open, lack of any hint of embarrassment or recognition that their products...

"Oh yes Cathy, Antabuse forum. Now this particular piece is made our of imported Venetian glass and has those all important ball bearings for stimulation, Buy Antabuse Without Prescription. And it is 100% dishwasher safe."

I think that sums it up. Antabuse long term, So I got to thinking. Quarterlifers grew up around the Reagan 80's of "Just say no" to the 90's Nike "Just do it!" Now it is a free for all sexual wise, nothing is too taboo, buy Antabuse online no prescription, nothing off limits, Antabuse dangers, nothing you cannot blog, blab, view, discount Antabuse, catch, Buy no prescription Antabuse online, download, etc. But, my Antabuse experience, no matter the times, Generic Antabuse, the generation or the subject matter, some rules always apply. Buy Antabuse Without Prescription, Especially with 1/4 lifer sexuality.

Here is what I got out of the television hosts, Antabuse duration, their items for sale, Antabuse results, overall show, and how it relates to our Gen Y sexual lives.

1, Antabuse online cod. First, Online buy Antabuse without a prescription, they said it right off the bat. Make sure what ever you do can be washed off. Physically that is, Buy Antabuse Without Prescription. Think antibacterial, where can i order Antabuse without prescription. But, Buy Antabuse without a prescription, some emotional stains can be harder to scrub out. Like when Greg used you as a starter girl at prom.

2, Antabuse canada, mexico, india. Buy Antabuse Without Prescription, On the same point, always be dishwasher safe when it comes to sex. The safe sex laws still should be enforced. Antabuse over the counter, No glove equals no love...and if you are thinking long term relationship, everyone needs to put on their big girl and boy panties and get some blood tests.

3, rx free Antabuse. Two for one is not always a bargain. Unless you are into that sort of thing, Buy Antabuse Without Prescription. Japan, craiglist, ebay, overseas, paypal, 4. It can be fun to shop around, but do not always impulse buy, no prescription Antabuse online. I ended up getting a 3-pack Magic Wand kit with edible body crayons. About Antabuse, Not sure why I thought this would make a good Christmas gift. Buy Antabuse Without Prescription, Same thing applies sexually. What sounds like a good idea at the bar, in the back of the Celica, Antabuse class, later in the apartment Jacuzzi, Antabuse reviews, your balcony, roommates not the winning buyer's dream you thought 12 tequila shots in.

5, where can i buy cheapest Antabuse online. Be careful what 1/4 life company you keep. Antabuse natural, Like the call-in buyers, partners in the boudoir who only come alive at 3:00 AM are alcoholics, unemployable or vampires, Antabuse gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release.

6, Buy Antabuse Without Prescription. Home, Antabuse without prescription, web, 1-8/900 shopping is a lot like surfing the internet for porn or just living a relationship through your Farmville. Get out...get a life...and get some, Antabuse no prescription. Healthy-wise that is. Is Antabuse safe, 7. Buy Antabuse Without Prescription, Shop-a-holics are addicts. There is an emotional high that comes with purchasing items. Sure there are addictions for just about everything including sex, get Antabuse, co-dependency, emotional bi-polar dramas, fears of commitment or abandonment. Don't let any of those monkeys on your back.

8. Everything has a limit, Buy Antabuse Without Prescription. Your credit card and your emotional life. Beware of shopper’s remorse in all phases of your quarter life.

9. There was this one item that had more special components, bells & whistles than a luxury German import sports car. Buy Antabuse Without Prescription, I think it was actually manufactured by a division of Porsche. Anyhows. It came with vibro beads, 10-speed setting with turbo boost, had a heating element, was rechargeable and included a three prong attachment for multiple orifices. It lit up in four "hypno" colors as well. And the "hypno" was actually trademarked. Best of all was the sales ladies were harping on the fact the device did not use batteries, Buy Antabuse Without Prescription. "Better for the environment, eco-friendly Cathy." Okay...long story short. Life is complicated, sex is pretty simple when it comes down to it, relationships are both. The less add-ons the better.

10. Classic advice: There is a sucker born every minute. Can we say double entendre for shopping and sexual bargains.

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Quinine For Sale

November 23, 2009

Quinine For Sale, FWB – Friends with Benefits - You think it will not be awkward in the morning…but whew.

Roses are red

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You do me and I do you, where can i order Quinine without prescription. Quinine coupon, Relationships are complicated things. If not, Quinine used for, Discount Quinine, we would have every friend we ever made, kept up our revenge lists, Quinine without prescription, Purchase Quinine for sale, wouldn’t screen calls, alcohol would have no more use in society, Quinine dosage, Quinine brand name, Facebook would be an internet graveyard and the ultimate could come to pass…

That one could just be friends with the ability to boink like rabbits with no pressures about past, present and future consequences, Quinine images. Kjøpe Quinine på nett, köpa Quinine online, Or as it is better known Friends with Benefits.

Questions abound regarding the infamous relationship concept, Quinine For Sale. The obvious up side is the rush, where can i buy cheapest Quinine online, No prescription Quinine online, thrill of openness, the so called apparent lack of strings attached, purchase Quinine online no prescription. After Quinine, And to be perfectly clear, the so called benefit is sex, buy Quinine no prescription. Quinine pictures, The benefits are NOT harmless flirting, sexting, order Quinine online overnight delivery no prescription, Purchase Quinine online, dirty phone talk, teasing, order Quinine from mexican pharmacy, Quinine overnight, casual skinny dipping, etc, what is Quinine. Quinine alternatives, Here are the top three of those questions:

Could’ve. Quinine For Sale, Would’ve. Should’ve, buy cheap Quinine no rx. Order Quinine no prescription, Let us say you have a friend you really like maybe even horn dogging for. But, Quinine recreational, Australia, uk, us, usa, you are not into the whole relationship addition to your hectic quarterlife world. That’s cool; nothing wrong with that, buy Quinine online no prescription. But, could you approach this person with the idea of taking it all the way without taking the two of you all the way to something more emotional, or causing some irreversible change in the relationship, Quinine For Sale. My Quinine experience, Would you and your friend be able to handle the lack of commitment, muster the sensitive detachment and be able to give and take without any other feelings but friendship, Quinine class. Quinine long term, Hara Estroff Marano, Editor-at-Large of Psychology Today, online buying Quinine hcl, Quinine description, states, “The thing about friends with benefits is that, Quinine reviews, Quinine coupon, often, only one person gets all the benefits.”

With that in mind, Quinine maximum dosage, Where can i cheapest Quinine online, final question: should you go through with benefiting…what will the next morning be like. What will your relationship turn into, fast shipping Quinine. Quinine dangers, Will there be more, deeper questions about you, Quinine blogs, Quinine without a prescription, him or her and if what you shared really matters. Quinine For Sale, FWB right or wrong. Up to you and your partner. Quarterlifers are in a time of their lives where defining their selves; what they want from others is paramount to future growth and happiness. Relationships are an integral part of life. How far and what you need from them is something you have to decide for yourself.

Remember. Could I. Would I. Should We?.

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Lasix For Sale

November 17, 2009

Lasix For Sale, I’m about to divulge something terribly embarrassing. Lasix treatment, Not only have I read all the Twilight books, I’ve read them twice and enjoyed them thoroughly, Lasix overnight. Lasix gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release, It’s one thing to love Harry Potter. There is literary validity to JK Rowling’s work- she’s a good writer who knows how to tell a good story, Lasix from canadian pharmacy. Where to buy Lasix, Stephenie Meyer, on the other hand, Lasix wiki, Buy Lasix online cod, weaves a story about an obsessive teenage girl and her creepy stalker immortal vampire boyfriend. It’s not good writing, and its not particularly a good story, Lasix For Sale. But I read them, discount Lasix, Generic Lasix, and come Thursday, November 20, is Lasix safe, Where can i cheapest Lasix online, 2009 at Midnight, I’ll be sitting next to many teenagers and twenty-somethings watching the second installment of the Twilight movies, Lasix pharmacy. Purchase Lasix, I’m not proud, but I’ve come to terms with being a Twi-hard, Lasix mg. Online buy Lasix without a prescription, It all started because I needed something to read while I waited for Harry Potter 7 to come out. My true addiction- I needed something to quell the years of waiting to find out how the ultimate battle between good and evil would end, buy Lasix online no prescription. Lasix For Sale, So a friend recommended Twilight. Lasix used for, It sounded innocent. Vampires, Lasix brand name, Lasix online cod, teenagers, werewolves...what could be the harm, Lasix cost. Lasix samples, Four books later and I curse myself for ever starting.

When I was a teenager, ordering Lasix online, Buy Lasix from mexico, I read everything Anne Rice ever wrote. Between 1984 and The Scarlet Letter I managed to become obsessed with the lives of Louis, Lestat, Claudia, Vittorio, Memnoch (the Devil), Armand...well you get the picture, Lasix For Sale. For a teenage girl who is awkward, online Lasix without a prescription, Comprar en línea Lasix, comprar Lasix baratos, a little socially inept, and who may or may not have had her heart crushed by mortal boys, Lasix no prescription, Lasix australia, uk, us, usa, there is something enticing about a boy who is in to only you, and will be for centuries, Lasix interactions. Online buying Lasix hcl, I like to think that I’ve matured since then. I know a lot more about who I am and about myself in relationships, Lasix dose. Buy cheap Lasix no rx, So now that I no longer lust for the beautiful sparkly boy who never ages and thirsts for my blood- why would a twenty-something woman like Twilight. Lasix For Sale, There are plenty of things about the books (and soon the movies) that I don’t like. I think that the dynamics between the relationships are based on huge imbalances of power, where can i order Lasix without prescription. Purchase Lasix for sale, I don’t believe in the instant insanity love that these kinds of books profess and think that promoting that can be harmful. I don’t believe in giving money to the Mormons- which is what you end up doing when you purchase Meyer’s books, get Lasix. Lasix price, coupon, What the books DO do for me is remind me of how far I’ve come.

Bella, the main character of the series, is fairly average, despite having a vampire for a boyfriend and a werewolf for a best friend (Team Jacob people- you’ll never get your way and you know it), Lasix For Sale. But as stupid and creepy as the sparkly boy standing over her bed can be, buy no prescription Lasix online, Taking Lasix, Bella’s thoughts are truly those of a 17 year old girl. Obsessive at times, Lasix schedule, Lasix maximum dosage, and ridiculous at others I saw my teenage self in her.

Book 2, Lasix pictures, New Moon, is the best of the series in representing her pre-quarterlife pain. I’ve fought with the other Twi-hards about the validity of book two (no mocking allowed if you’ve ever had a conversation in Klingon, debated Spiderman v. Lasix For Sale, Superman, or analyzed the psychological development of the Alien creature from movie 1 to 4). But, it was in book 2 that I really got hooked. Stephenie Meyer steps out of her fanfic storytelling to get straight to the gut pain of what it is to be a teenage girl. Granted, her pain is over a boy- like most teenage drama- but it is no less real. That pain, the crippling, earth shattering, paralyzing pain of loss hit me at time in my quarterlife when I was feeling many of the same emotions as Bella.

Being in the middle of my job search, I certainly feel some of that pain resurface at times, Lasix For Sale. Part of the terror of a quarterlife crisis is feeling like you’re taking a step backwards. Feeling those out of control moments can bring back memories of fighting with your parents, the stress of calculus, or a significant other who broke your heart.

No matter how much pain your twenties brings- it is never the same as actually being in your teens. There are joys that come in your twenties that you can’t imagine in high school. There are pains that are so much more complex, but that also come from having greater, wider experiences.

I like Twilight because I can remember what it was like to be that girl while recognizing that I am not her. Going through a quarterlife crisis is certainly a struggle, but could never be as stupid and painful as being a teenage girl with a sparkly stalker boyfriend who can’t grow facial hair.

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Buy Elavil Without Prescription

August 6, 2009

Buy Elavil Without Prescription, Today was super confusing. I had a non traditional student come into my office today with a roommate issue. By that I mean she was a twenty three year old graduate student, purchase Elavil, with an internship at our student union department, Elavil reviews, lived on campus and was an international student from Switzerland. I believe quarter life starts differently and at widely varying times in a young person’s life. By the math, what is Elavil, this young lady was definitely in the ¼ category and thus fair game for me to comment on. But, it was the uber Millennial aspects of her personality which made me think I was seeing the next wave of quarter lifers, the next generation, that I might be heading quickly into a new demographic category and no one has come up with a new name for these kids punching out of our grand matriculating college apparatus, Buy Elavil Without Prescription. Buy generic Elavil, But at the beginning of the meeting, no big whoop. Just another cog in the diverse student body machine of campus, Elavil maximum dosage. And probably her roomie issue was going to be in the well worn categories of bills, Elavil images, lifestyles, behavior conflicts, levels of slobby or INFP personality types from the Myers Briggs tests, online Elavil without a prescription.

I was happily wrong, Buy Elavil from mexico, but terribly perplexed after our discussion and my attempts to help her with her unique situation. Buy Elavil Without Prescription, It left me wondering, pondering many questions about life, good versus evil, is there a God, and is there already a generation gap, stimulus packages and how I could somehow flesh out a small off Broadway script from our hour long meeting.

And hopefully by blogging this out, I might help you the reader, online buying Elavil hcl. And I might contribute in some small way to the betterment of mankind and finally to remove the nagging mental tumor of our encounter from a rapidly degrading mental state of my professional and personal mind. Elavil cost, So here we go.

Well, my appointment did eventually make it in, online buying Elavil, wet hair and frumpled clothes not withstanding on her sleep deprived, Taking Elavil, unkempt, inked up, iPod budded ears and some sort of Asiatic language tattoo print on her nicotine stained left finger, Elavil pictures. As I like to ice breaker as soon as I can, and just got the ear phones ejected from her ears, I asked about the finger tattoo, Buy Elavil Without Prescription. She told me it was tribal. Elavil description, Oh, I love that one. I get this tribal thing all the time, rx free Elavil. Your last name is Johnson sweetie and the last tribe you were in was sometime around 200 AD in some Anglo-Saxon wave into Britain. Buy Elavil Without Prescription, Plus it is in Japanese and was probably inked by a Honduran guy who could not even speak English. Elavil brand name, But, in her defense I was also told it meant peace in mind. I took it’s garbled print’s advice and Zen’d myself for the issues ahead, Elavil treatment.

Okay, Elavil duration, outside of her apparent trust in late night body painting, her reason for visiting me. This one was about a relationship problem with the roomie and the infamous third roommate or in other words, where can i buy Elavil online, the shacking boyfriend.

Here is the simple exchange, Buy Elavil Without Prescription. Is Elavil safe, "Cathy, thanks for coming in. I hope we can help ya out, Elavil without prescription. Tell me what’s going on."

“My roommate and I are not speaking because of a big argument over my boy friend sleeping over some nights during the week. Elavil blogs, It’s not like we’re bugging her. Buy Elavil Without Prescription, We’re quiet and he is usually gone before she even wakes up. Her big hang up is like that my guy…ummm, like we’re sleeping together…she thinks, buy Elavil without prescription, like I am a whore. Real brand Elavil online, I mean like I’m a good girl, I don’t sleep a around. She and I are even in College Sister’s for Christ and she is like, Elavil pharmacy, ummm spreading around rumors that I am not a virgin. Elavil street price, I am.”

Okay. Me likey this, Buy Elavil Without Prescription. Sounds interesting. Sounds like a few standard responses of diversity, is Elavil addictive, respect, Buy Elavil from canada, a counseling appointment, maybe some mediation or in the end a new roommate assignment might be in order. Been down this track many a time, where can i order Elavil without prescription. I could handle this. Buy Elavil Without Prescription, Then she hit me. Elavil for sale, “I am still a virgin. My boyfriend and I only have anal sex because we are saving each other for marriage.

My mind did a needle scrape across the cliché record, Elavil from canadian pharmacy. “Anal sex?” I was barely listening to her story which was the same one I had heard a thousand times before in the roommate genre, Buy cheap Elavil, but when the term anal came up, followed by sex…and when put in conjunction with the fact that his little coed still believed she was a virgin. Wow, Buy Elavil Without Prescription.

She began to boo hoo a bit and I handed her a tissue from our large supply of boxes of Kleenex, Elavil forum. From there out, Buy Elavil without a prescription, I did not recall much of what she said, but I doled out some advice about respecting privacy and belief structures. Then there was the standard comfort zone speech, Elavil alternatives. I am pretty sure she got the drift that if you want peace in your abode, Where can i cheapest Elavil online, you have to have it with your partner and for now she lives with one person and that’s the gal you need to make happy. Buy Elavil Without Prescription, If you need to shack…stay at the boyfriend’s. Not sure I helped. Not sure I could, Elavil price.

The main thing I wanted to concentrate on after she left was a puzzling question. Cheap Elavil, Anal sex = virginity. Somehow this fellow of hers had the creative salesmanship to be able to convince her that taking one up the butt was still considered non-sex, Buy Elavil Without Prescription. What a slick willy…no pun intended. This guy could possibly run for President some day, Elavil dose. Absolutely, Order Elavil online c.o.d, fascinating.

What I am getting at here is the idea, we might be seeing the defining aspect of the next generation. Buy Elavil Without Prescription, That the quarter lifers are coming to a new era. That those of us in such, might be leaving early into a thirties-something era not by right of age, but by the difference of behavior and belief. I think the chief word for the new twenty-somethings is gullibility.

The new ladies and gents coming out and up will do anything, fall for anything and never have any idea as to why they did it, what cause they did or did not support, what they believe in and why so.

Maybe I am just bitching here, but wow. I am certainly not old enough to be griping about young people, to be shaking my fist and chatting about the good ol days, but be on the look out. These kids are coming and you might just see your quarter lifer personality acting more like your parents way sooner than you thought.

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Marriage: A Team To Play On When Ready

June 4, 2008

Similar to Quarterlives author David Morgan, I check the box for married on all tax and patient history forms. I have been married since September 2005, and recently have been blessed with the birth of my first child. To date, my marriage has been terrific. I have known my wife for over 6.5 years. When we first started dating in July 2001, I had no intent of tying the knot, nor did I suspect that she would "be the one." It was not until three years later that I gave marriage a thought. And my first thought about it was not positive. At the start of my second year of law school, it hit me that Caryn and I had been together for three years. My mind reached the conclusion, that it was make or break time. I decided to break for what I thought would be permanent. I heart-wrenchingly explained that I did not believe things were working out, and assured my wife that the problem between us was most definitely me. After all, she had not done anything to deserve a separation. My feet had found their way into an arctic glacier when the thought of marriage arose. The following two weeks provided necessary reflection. After time with my family, I traveled to Bemidji, Minnesota for a Hockey official's seminar. It was in my hotel room that I realized my illogical move. I was leaving a terrific relationship, because I was afraid of commitment and hard work. I begged Caryn to forgive me, and she was gracious enough to give me a second chance. Free accommodations were afforded to me at chateau-de-bow-wow for my irrational decision. After our relationship resumed, 4-5 months of mental tennis convinced me that Caryn was the one. Positives: a person that is supportive of everything I do; looks amazing; is very intelligent; hates rodents and snakes; knows how to keep my stomach full; and is o.k. with hockey. The negatives: goodbye bachelorhood; she dislikes baseball; and she was not good at cooking rice. (I once mistook a bowl of rice Caryn had made for mashed potatoes. But her rice cooking skills have perfected since that situation.) The positives won in a landslide. I popped the question to Caryn on Clearwater Beach on New Year's Eve 2004. To my surprise, she said "yes." We were ready to be married, and I was excited for it. It would be another great aspect of our lives. But some people are not keen on marriage. Quarterlives author Frank Bologna posed the question that asked whether "marriage is the kind of decision one can rationally make in this day and age?" Albeit his question may be rhetorical, the question should be answered in the affirmative. Marriage is just one option on the checklist of life that may or may not be pursued. It is for some and not for others. You can only cross this decisional bridge when you come to it. But how do my experiences counter the thoughts about marriage that Mr. Bologna expressed? Entrance into marriage does not mean you automatically surrender everything you had in single life in favor of your spouse, children, or pets. The notion that a spouse simply must stop aspiring to better him/herself because of marriage is to be rejected. Getting married is not necessarily equivalent to "settling down." True, when you get married you are no longer limited to decisions that merely implicate "me." There is "me" plus spouse and children. But is the consideration of others restricting when it comes to your own life within the marriage? No. Marriage, like all life experiences and relationships, is what you make it. It is the ultimate test of interpersonal communications, a course that I took and received a C+ in during college. If my wife took the course she probably earned an A. In terms of our country's statistics on divorce rates, our citizenry fails on the subject of marriage interpersonal communication when looked at in the traditional grading range of 90-80-70-60. What is the penalty for a failed marriage grade? It depends on your standpoint. Legally, there are court costs, attorney fees, child support, division of assets, spousal support, income tax implications and many other costs. Spiritually, Christian churches tag divorcees as damaged goods. No one signs up for a marriage with the intention to fail. People take pride in their relationships and their successes. Problems arise in marriages and relationships when partners shut down their communications, switch their attitudes to uncooperative, or elect to engage in adultery. Marriage, and other relationships, must fit somewhere into an individual's priority list. And it is generally found near the top of the list when it happens. If an individual wishes to throw himself/herself exclusively into his/her career, then marriage needs to wait. It is difficult to break free of Corporate America once a person has been promoted up the ladder, given more responsibility, cash, and benefits. But when on parole from the office, how will you spend your time? Some enjoy the singles scene while others hang out with friends, head to the beach, or work on a hobby. It is up to the person how time not working is spent, and there is no wrong answer to how it is spent. Marriage is another option. Marriage is not for everyone. Once you walk down the aisle you must remember that marriage is teamwork. Each player is responsible for communicating with everyone on the team and picking up the play signals. You pick up your teammates when slumping, and always celebrate the wins and losses together. If one is cool with all of this and has an interested partner, then marriage is definitely a rational decision you can make in this day and age.

21st Century Digital Dating

March 3, 2008

It’s been two days…should I call her? Our dinner went pretty well. There weren’t any first-date awkward moments or slip-ups. I didn’t say anything offensive about her tacky giant glitter belt. I smelled good. She smiled enough. Maybe I should text her – it’s much less intrusive than a call. But maybe she’ll think that’s too unobtrusive. She said she has a lot of military friends. I don’t think I like that. She was cute but really close to having a uni-brow…I wonder if she caught me staring. She must have caught me staring at her boobs they were as explicit as our waiters haughty attitude. I guess I could email her. I don’t know that seems a little informal, (Please fill out this survey if you would like a second date. Questions 5 – 20 involve the topic of sex. PLEASE DO NOT SKIP Questions 5 – 20!!) That’s ridiculous. There are way too many options here. Damn it! I’ll just call her.
“Hello” “Hi, it’s Rick…from the other night” “Oh hi Rick…how are you?” “I’m good, I’m good. Um I was just calling to say I had a good time the other night. It was fun. I’m still laughing about the waiter peppering your salad even though you insisted he didn’t. Haha…” “Oh yeah.” (Pause) “Um so yeah, I was wondering if you wanted to get dinner again or maybe go to the park?” “Well actually Rick I’ve been thrown into another really busy work week. We’ve got a lot of tight deadlines so I’m not going to be able to get out much.” (Pause) “Oh ok, that’s cool, well how about you just give me a call if you’re up for doing anything after your busy week.” “Sure, I will, well I’ve actually got to get back to work now but thanks for the call.” “Sure no problem…”
Damnit! I just spent sixty bucks on dinner for nothing! Busy with work my ass. What went wrong? Maybe I called too soon? We had good conversation the whole time. I even snuck in a ‘You’re cute in your pics but your even cuter in person’ line! Damnit! I hate I know the problem here. She probably has five other dates from match lined up this week alone. Grrr! Ok, maybe I’m just a little angry, but I’ve gone on more than a handful of these match dates now and they’ve all ended about the same. I know not everyone will click romantically on the first date but come on? I can’t be that bad!? Anyway, rather then spend countless hours dissecting my personality and appearance and aimlessly searching for answers to who I am and why I’m single at twenty-five I’d much rather just blame society. Yes, I think my sour luck in the dating world is merely because of too many options... I’m sure it sounds ridiculous too have TOO many options. But just think about it. Has this ever happened to you: Your hanging out with a group of your friends and you decide to order pizza. You find out what everyone wants but can’t decide on toppings? What to do?? Hey, let’s all decide to pick one topping each and just have a medley of miss-matched pizza madness. Sounds like fun right? Wrong! Once you take that first bite of mushroom, pineapple, anchovy (someone always wants anchovy!), banana pepper, spinach, and arugula pizza you know why too many options are a terrible idea. It doesn’t even taste like pizza anymore. It all just melds together into some bitter, crunchy, salty, ungodly mess. Dating is a little different yes, but you’re left with the same result…maybe a little less crunchy and salty. 21st Century Digital DatingWe are living in a 21st century digital day. The Internet runs the world and cell phones are so popular that it’s hard to find a fourth grader without one. We have communication opportunities today that were never imaginable thirty years ago. Emails. Text’s. Ebay. Online Banking. It’s possible to live completely within your household and never have to leave, ever. And think about the dating opportunities. You’re able to choose from a multitude of online dating sites and options to find your ‘match.’ You can choose from region, age, race, size, likes, dislikes, and plenty of other options all online without any obligations. How great is that?! You don’t have to waste money and suffer embarrassing rejection in the superficial bar/club scene. You don’t have to meet random guys/girls running on the treadmills at the gym as you struggle to breathe let alone start up conversation. And you don’t have to throw out lame pick up lines to total strangers like, “Hi, I like your glasses” or “Hi, I like your hair” or “Hi, I like your shirt” (Yes I am actually that bad at pick up lines) Anyway, online dating is nearly stress free and there are so many options! But, there lies the problem. When you have a number of dates lined up on match, or e-harmony, or another dating site it’s no big deal if the first one or two aren’t perfect. You’ve got plenty to choose from. When you don’t find your ‘Prince Charming’ or that ‘Sweet innocent ‘bad girl’ that you always envisioned you don’t have to worry. You can just skip to the next date and the next after that. But, do you ever really know what you’re skipping? In this 21st Century digital dating game there seems to be a lack of focus. How can you be fully dedicated to one date when you’ve got several others lined up? Isn’t it possible you could pass up the person of your dreams and not realize it? Let me put it this way; have you ever played slots at the casino before? You start at the ‘Cops & Robbers Big Bank Bucks’ slot machine (the one where three Billy clubs whacking a criminal across and diagonal is a 30 to 1 pay off.) You stay for a few turns and have a little luck but before long you move to another machine. Next up: ‘Animal Safari Cash Explosion’, and after that ‘The Haunted Ghosts in Jackpot Mansion’ all louder and flashier than the one before and all with minimal success. But you keep moving to the next one and the next one and the next in hopes of that big pay off. You move down the line until you get to the very end, ‘Arabian Desert Dollars Deluxe’, and you put in that last dollar. The slots spin and the machine pops, beeps, bleeps, and blings but you come up empty. You spent your last buck and are left with nothing. As you walk back empty handed you pass ‘Cops & Robbers Big Bank Bucks’ and what happens? Oh yeah it pays off and it pays off BIG but instead of you it’s some skinny ass redneck with a pit-stained ‘I Love NY’ t-shirt and sweat-laced, moldy trucker cap! I hate that shit! So the moral of this whole convoluted blog is: Don’t let that redneck take your true love! Don’t be tempted by the many options on match, or e-harmony, or the rest of them. Who cares about rules of texting or emailing or smoke signals or whatever you use. Dating in the 21st century gives us too many options and leads us astray. Focus on one and make it count. Focus on that one guy or girl you see in the library every Monday and make them your only option. Focus on the cute bank teller that you leave work early in hopes of catching before their shift ends and make them your only option. Focus on that one person and who knows maybe you’ll hit that jackpot. As for me, there’s a girl who works the counter at the gym I’ve been too nervous to talk to. I think I’ll stop in, maybe tell her I like her glasses. (What? It has to work at some point!).

Surfing For Love On The Net

February 23, 2008

Surfing For LoveIt all started shortly after college. I was working a soulless "Office Space" job creating 3D bombing trainers for the military. You know, the type of job that gives you that warm fuzzy feeling inside about your contribution to the world. I had lived in the same general 100 mile vicinity for my entire 23 years of existence. The days of playing Mario Kart all night long while sharing drinks with good friends were becoming few and far between. I was trying so hard not to let the college days slip out of my grasp, but they were already gone. The only responses I received from companies I sent my resume and demo reels to were rejection letters. My last serious girlfriend was nearly 5 years prior and any date since then had been a joke. Maybe it's because my idea of a good first date was taking them surfing in Florida hurricane swell, rock climbing or to a hard rock concert. The way I saw it, if they couldn't deal with a little extreme sport action, the outdoors and a good rock concert, we ultimately were not going to get along. What happened to all of my hopes and dreams? Was the past year an indication of what the rest of my life would become? A lonely one track path through the halls of corporate misery… I wanted adventure, excitement, love and happiness! I wanted to live on a tropical island, surf perfect waves every day and work at a job I truly enjoyed. That’s not too much to ask for is it? I just needed someone to share the experiences with. I know it's not the cool thing to do, but I turned to the internet for dating. American Singles to be exact. Bars and clubs aren’t my scene, so I could rule those options out for finding a quality girl. The workplace is a bad idea, but even if it was an option there’s not a great male to female ratio in the development of 3D military simulators industry. Anyway, that’s enough of my lame excuses for looking to the internet for love. At the time I was poor, so I didn't actually subscribe to the site. However, if you're internet savvy you can hide enough clues in your profile for someone to figure out how to contact you. A great thing about internet dating is the opportunity to learn about the person you're interested in before actually dating them. Assuming they're not lying, but you can usually tell who the fake people are. If she says she’s 18 and looks 16, chances are she’s 14. I mean, c’mon! She likes Ashley Simpson and her favorite movie is Hannah Montana in 3D! How much more evidence do you need? No longer will you have to go out for weeks before learning that your date’s idea of a perfect life is living with her Grandparents in the corn fields of Illinois with a collection of puppy magnets. The internet doesn't always work out. There are a lot of kooks out there, but after only a couple tries I got lucky. We hit it off right away on the phone and set up a date to go surfing the following weekend in February. There’s nothing hotter than a girl in a wetsuit! It turns out the waves were really up (a Florida rarity) and it was really choppy (not a Florida rarity). So, making the wise move I opted for a less extreme date of an evening together at Laundry’s Crab Shack right on Tampa Bay. Smooth, I know. She didn’t tell me until months later that she doesn’t like seafood. Anyway, the date was great. At the end of the night I gave her a peck on the cheek and headed home. I had to keep her guessing, but the truth was I already knew she was the one. Her name was Jana. She was so cute, exotic, intelligent and lived all over the world from France to Pakistan. She was a photography student at the Ringling College of Art and Design in Sarasota, Florida. Her favorite activities included surfing, camping, hiking and watching fantasy movies! How often do you meet a girl who loves to surf and digs The Lord of the Rings!? She was in to piercing, industrial music, Paganism and Buddhism! Basically, the perfect girl to bring home to my Christian conservative southern family! We commuted back and forth to see each other nearly every week for months. Jana and I spent so much time together that I lost my job. I guess in the grand scheme of things I found love to be a bit more important than building kill switches for stealth bombers. Every weekend together was a new adventure. We surfed multiple hurricanes, slept under the stars at Sebastian Inlet several times, backpacked through the Grand Canyon for 4 days, had several road trips to North Carolina and the Florida Keys and I even attended my first Renaissance Festival and taught the LARPers a lesson or two about throwing a tomahawk. I wouldn’t have cared that much about losing my job, but it forced me to move back home with my parents and get a job close by doing graphic design. I love my family, but after 5 years of college and 6 years away from home, opinions on almost everything tend to differ quite a bit from your parents. But like most things, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. It gave me the opportunity to save some money and realize that graphic design was the career path for me. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life sharing adventures with Jana. An evening in August she spilled the beans about a surprise road trip for my birthday to our secret spot in North Carolina. A secluded location at the top of a beautiful waterfall that words can’t even describe and it was all ours. I decided that was going to be the spot to pop the big question. One evening before hiking down to the bottom of the waterfall I slipped the ring in to my pocket. At the bottom, wading through the water, I proposed the brilliant idea of searching for gold. I got down on my knee in the water, held up the ring and said, “Look what I found!” I’m pretty sure she thought I really found it in the water at first. The look on her face was shock and amazement. Then, I asked her to marry me. She said no. I went home heartbroken and have been writing poetry ever since. Okay, okay… she said yes. We were married a few months later. Jana was 21 and I was 24. It’s been over 2 years since our wedding and while I’m no expert on the matter, I can say marriage has been awesome so far. We didn’t marry for financial reasons or because we had a kid on the way, but because we loved each other and it was something we wanted to do. Has it been happily ever after? Hell no. We have our fair share of fights and arguments. I’ve made Jana cry on several occasions and she’s made me, uh… almost cry a few times. We’ve had financial difficulty and family problems. We were constantly criticized for being too young, crazy or stupid. There are several people that would love to see our marriage fail. We’ve learned who our real friends are and what people really think of us. There are many things that are "expected" of you when you get married. You're "supposed" to settle down, work a steady job, purchase a home together and start a family. Personally, I think that's all bullshit. The only thing that I ever felt pressured in to was purchasing a condo. I consider that decision a big mistake, but I don't regret it. I learned a valuable life lesson; other people never know what's best for you. Follow your heart and take everyone else's advice with a grain of salt. For us, owning a home was an anchor and the economy sure isn't helping the situation. Jana and I still have many years of adventures left in us. Eventually starting a family will be a great new adventure, but that's one we plan on waiting another 5 or 10 years before embarking on. We love each other now more than ever. Since we met over 3 years ago I have worked at 6 different jobs, started my own design company and moved to the tropical island of Oahu where I have the opportunity to surf perfect waves nearly every day. We left our condo behind in Orlando (it still hasn't sold) and moved to Hawaii with no place to live or job secured. Now we live in downtown Waikiki 2 blocks from the ocean. We have 2 dogs that drive me completely insane some days. I have great friends and a loving family. Most days I am genuinely happy. I got the change I was looking for. Nobody can say what the future will truly hold for us, but I can say with certainty that I don't regret any choices I've made in my life thus far. My dreams have come true and I can only hope most people can be as lucky as I am.

Marriage: Is It For You?

February 22, 2008

Is It For You?A couple of weeks ago, I attended my cousin’s wedding. Normally, I could care less about weddings, but it was my Italian cousin getting hitched. And every time I get invited to an Italian wedding, I check that “Will Attend” box faster than an overweight ninja on a buffet line. Why? Because at Italian weddings, you know the food is going to be nothing short of orgasmic. And let’s not forget the plentiful booze. I know, I know. I shouldn’t reduce such events to superficial elements. Weddings are about two people acknowledging their love and dedication to each other for the rest of their lives. It’s a ceremony of beauty and - Who the hell am I kidding? 50% of these marriages go down the toilet, so obviously these fools that decide to tie the knot aren’t really THAT committed. Just because they had a delusional fit and buy into this “sanctity” bullshit doesn’t mean I should as well. If you’re dumb enough to get married and pay thousands and thousands of dollars to celebrate it, then sign me up! Sitting through a gag-inducing ceremony is a worthy price to pay for the chance to eat a really good fucking steak dinner and suck back Long Island ice-teas like there’s no tomorrow. Anyway, back to my cousin’s wedding. During the reception, I was sitting at a table next to my cousin Mike, with whom I used to live in Orlando when I was attending UCF. We had a lot in common: we were both the same age, both loved theatre and film, and both scoffed at the idea of marriage. A budding actor, he also starred in one of the first serious films I made. I truly enjoyed and treasured all the time I spent with him during my time in Orlando. Then as soon as we wrapped on the film, he decided to join the Army. Stricken with indecision about what he wanted to do with his life (apparently he wasn’t too keen about pursing an acting career, after all), he felt that the Army could shape him up and give him some direction. Before I knew it, he finished Basic Training, and then was off to North Korea. That was Fall of 2002. He has been stationed in Korea for five years. And when I finally saw him at the wedding after all of that time, my jaw dropped in shock at what I beheld before my very eyes: He had with him a wife and baby girl, only a few weeks old. “Damn it," I thought. "There goes another one." Now before you start calling me a cold-hearted bastard, let me give you some context. Nearly all of my cousins are married and have kids. Every time I go to a family reunion, I find it really difficult to relate to the rest of my family simply because I am without wife and child. I was Francis, the “weird” cousin in Florida who’s been in school forever and never had a serious girlfriend. Despite this self-imposed alienation, I could always rely on a single cousin or two to talk to without having to resort to the pleasures of food and booze to pass the time. My cousin Mike was one of those cousins. Now after five years of serving in the Army, he comes back with a family, which completely surprises me because I truly thought Mike was different. We would both make fun of other family members and friends who married too easily and early. We believed it was a cope-out; a strategy adopted by weak, desperate people who were indecisive about what they wanted to do with their life and so decided to marry and have kids because, to them, it was a sure-fire way to make their life consequential and meaningful. We would go on about how it was imperative for a man to enjoy his twenties by himself without having to be answerable to anyone, parents or spouses. Bride Drags GroomAnd here I see him, at our cousin’s wedding, falling into that pattern of life he once lambasted. What did the Army do to him? Is this the kind of “direction” he was looking for? I asked him if he was still writing, and he said he was, but now with the baby, it’s been harder and harder to devout time to it. I scolded him for not making more of an effort (those iced-teas were really hitting me at this point), telling him that he was a good writer, and as a good writer, it was his artistic responsibility to hone his craft by keeping at it, despite whatever obstacles might deter him. I further insisted that he email me his writings so that I can proof-read them. He finally relented and said, “Okay, I will,” perhaps as a way to finally shut my drunk ass up about it. It’s not like I’m not happy for my cousin. He seems comfortable with the decision he made, and so far, he hasn’t regretted it (as far as I can tell). If he truly feels that having a family at this point in his life is the best thing for him, then who am I to piss in his kool-aid and spoil it for him? I grapple with what my cousin Mike has done with his life because I wonder if he truly became one of those sad sacks who felt the need to have a family in order to combat an existential (or quarter-life) crisis. Did he have a family so that he can feel significant? Did he feel pressured by his parents (or society) because IT’S THE THING TO DO? It’s no secret that our society smiles on a family man. They are looked upon as men with values and principles. All politicians stress about how they are “husbands and fathers” first. Yet when you’re single, people look at you as if you’re the most selfish, hedonistic bastard on the planet. “What’s wrong with you?” they think to themselves. “Why haven’t you get your act together and ‘settled down?’” Interesting term, that is. Settled down. I think it’s an incredibly succinct and appropriate term is there ever was one because, essentially, to make such a decision is to narrow your options considerably. You “settle down” and stop shooting for the stars, destroying any possibility of acting out on whims, flights of fancy, or whatever true passions you have in life which may inform you of your life-long ambitions and aspirations. When you “settle down,” what YOU want and desire isn’t a priority anymore. It’s all about what’s best for the wife and kids, which is what it should be. But with the sheer amount of possibilities before us as modern twenty-somethings, is marriage the kind of decision one can rationally make in this day and age?

Love Is in The Crapper

February 20, 2008

Heart in ToiletEvery few weeks at my school I encounter a publication that continually changes my life. Whether that is for the better or not has yet to be determined. The counseling center has deemed that the best way to disseminate advice is in the public restroom. Not just in the restroom, but taped to the back of the stall door. They figure they have your attention for a few moments, they might as well inform you at the same time. Past issues of the “Potty Papers” (their title, not mine) have concentrated on how to study for finals, eating disorder awareness, and giving. This month I was wished a Happy Valentine’s Day with the following Potty Paper message:
“Love is patient. Love is kind. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love does not envy, doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first”. Love doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the faults of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel. Love takes pleasure in the flowering of truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going until the end.”
Aside from the obvious problems of the plagiarism of 1 Corinthians 13:4 and the deep grammatical structure issues, this passage disturbs me on multiple levels. First of all, the overall message we get from this is “Love is everything you ain’t”. Nobody lives up to this! No one, no matter your strength and commitment to love someone is all these things at any one time. Not even Mother Teresa could live up to the standards of the Potty Papers. In fact, Mother Teresa said, “Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired.” What’s more is every time you feel envious, fly off the handle, keep score, find things unbearable, look back, or give up- are you to believe that you are not a loving person? What the Potty Papers are missing is the part where love brings you a Frosty from Wendy’s when you are sick. Love will tape The Office for you when you can’t get home from class in time to watch it. Love will call you on your birthday, or on the day after apologizing profusely for being an asshole. Love will change the sheets on your bed because you hate to do it. Love will try your patience, test your limits, and push you into more difficult and painful places than you could ever experience otherwise. As someone wise once said (or rather sang), “The more you love someone the more you want to kill them.” Love will make you upset, angry, sad, depressed, and terrified. It will also course through your veins at the speed of family or the pulse of romance. On Valentine’s Day I hope that we can learn to let go of these glorified notions of love that come to us from an imaginary world of movies, TV, and toilet literature. I hope, instead, that we are able to find the small things that make love attainable and special rather than outlandish and combustible. Sorry Potty Papers- but I think you’re full of shit.

Holy Croatian Wedlock Batman!

February 20, 2008

Croatian GroomI think it’s going to be an April wedding– mostly because he needs an apartment after this semester. Wait, wait…let me back up. I started my official graduate classes this January after a long, boring onslaught of prerequisite undergrad catching up. Apparently, my school follows the grand grad student tradition of being a magnet for international students seeking a higher education. With the influx of euro-hotties, the possibilities for entrepreneurial advancement are immense. Enter Croatian boy– Tall, skinny, and disarmingly euro (or gay, but I’m going with Euro). His glasses aren’t available in the states and his shoes have seaming on them you can only find abroad. He also is experiencing the unfortunate disadvantages of not having a social security number. Try to get a cell phone, buy a car, or rent an apartment without a SSN and you have to do some major finagling. At least once a week he asks me how he applies for a social security number, to which I often reply, “You can’t, until we get married.” In my defense, I didn’t bring it up first. The idea was thrust upon us by a mutual friend and it has become a running joke ever since. “Valentine’s Day is coming up, how do you feel about going to get hitched” or “I can’t call you until I get a cell phone, are you busy after class” you know, the standard. But all this international conglomeration has been making me think. Not so much about selling myself into a wedded grave, but about the impact internationalization is making on our lives- specifically in a post collegiate “what in the world am I going to do with my life” sense. I’ve got friends who live in Europe and Africa, most of my friends have done their stint abroad, and still more have plans to become ex-pats in the next few decades. Previous generations didn’t necessarily have such exposure to other cultures unless they were drafted or wealthy. My dad went to Israel while he was in seminary but hasn’t seen the inside of an intercontinental airplane since. My mom’s first experience with the Euro trash was two years ago and my grandparents think that anything out of the Eastern Time zone isn’t worth seeing. With the world getting smaller, we are expected to be not only more cognizant of international occurrences but able to adapt our thinking to a mindset outside our own. While it’s very exciting to have so many opportunities, it’s also a tad overwhelming. When someone asks me where I plan on being in the next five years, my thoughts range from continent to continent trying to solidify where I want to be. Having the ability to be anything and go anywhere makes actually choosing somewhere to be a daunting reality. To some extent it makes me frozen, afraid of choosing the wrong thing. Conversely, it makes me hopeful that I will, one day, be able to call somewhere beyond these contiguous 48 states my home. Perhaps Croatia.