There came a point, though, when bassist and lead Kelly (after heckling the crowd about how her youth soccer league kick their youth soccer leagues’ collective asses) announced they would be playing a few new songs from their album that they pinky swore would be coming out soon. I felt my cynical spirits lower – the party was over and the promotion was beginning. I couldn’t have been more wrong. They started off with Some Girls, a super-catchy number about romantic disinterest. Somewhere in the back of my cerebral space, that song was stuck – on loop – until their album’s recent release.

The rest of the record is just as addictive. Though this album definitely has a harder edge to it than their previous releases, it is without a doubt a pop album with a lean to punk rock. In fact, I’d venture to refer to it as bubble gum punk – bright, bubbly, and catchy as hell. You can tell it is a trio of people who enjoy playing music for the sake of playing together. It comes through in every note.

There’s nothing too technically impressive about A Little Messed Up, but the total package works well. The album is cohesive without being boring – each song has its own feel while being distinctly Dollyrots. Harder, rougher tracks like Bigmouth take you on a virtual time warp back to simpler, more direct time in girl-fronted rock – - think of The Breeders circa 1993. Kelly brings it with great licks on the bass, and Luis delivers completely on guitar. Don’t get too nostalgic, though, because pop-explosions like Om Nom Nom will throw you slamming into the present digital age and have you wondering if it is possible for lolcats to write lyrics. The album’s first single, California Beach Boy, isn’t that memorable, but it is a nice change-up to a summer filled with images of “California Gurl” Katy Perry ejaculating whipped cream on sandy shores.

The album has nice flow, too, with the sweetly sobering Rollercoaster gliding into the midst of the album without being a downer. It provides a good shift in tempo – allowing for some calm in the middle of the storm – without being a disruptive break from the party. It is calming without being disarming.

The album also includes two covers: The Turtles’ Happy Together and Bobby Darin’s Dream Lover. Covers are a strong suit of The Dollyrots, and these are no exception. This little couplet of songs that throw back to a simpler time is a perfect end to the album. These two songs put the listening experience to bed like a nice rock n’ roll lullaby.

All in all, The Dollyrots have a good time on this album, and I think it’s nice of them to bring us along for the ride. Turns out, A Little Messed Up is absolutely fine.

Click here to view the embedded video.

What more could it need? Well a sequel was in order of course. In the arena of sequels that are better than the original movie, The Karate Kid II certainly stepped up. We got a new location, new backstory characters, and stirring vocals from Peter Cetera. Perfect in every way. Let us forget that Karate Kid III and the Next Karate Kid even existed. Or at least remember them in an ironic Razzie sense- highs and lows for sure.

So what made Hollywood think that we needed a remake? Much less a remake starring Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan?

I love the Karate Kid. I watched it over and over as a kid until my bootlegged copy ran thin. Along with my constant Labyrinth and Clue watching, I grew to love Mr. Miyagi and Daniel Larusso every time they put Cobra Kai in their place. So, perhaps I am entering into this review a tad biased. In all honesty, I was excited to see it. I figured that Hollywood wouldn’t be creative enough to really mess with the story (a la The Stepford Wives) and we would just end up with a watered down version of the original. Little did I know that the director’s next project is RollerCoaster Tycoon. That should have tipped me off.

There’s nothing wrong with this new version of the Karate Kid per se. Just a lot of little things that end up making it irritating. Jaden and his mom, played by Taraji Henson, move to Beijing for her job. Out of all the casting fails I expected, Henson wasn’t one of them. Throughout the entire movie I felt like she was playing a cleaned up version of Shug from Hustle & Flow. Shug managed to get her act together, clean up, get her kid back, and somehow get a job in China. She plays the idiot mom the entire time with continuous wide eyes and a wardrobe that looks like it was bought from the tourist shops in Chinatown; 3 for $10 silk dresses.

Jaden can’t even make it one day before he finds the girl he’s supposed to be interested in and gets beat up by the school kung fu bullies. Point of order- Jaden’s character is 12. In sixth grade, the boys didn’t want to be seen with the girls, much less kiss them. Hilarity ensues where by Jaden continuously gets his ass handed to him until Mr Miyagi steps in.

Jackie Chan plays the wise karate sensei as bitter and angry. Pat Morita- while not explaining to Daniel san why he was painting the fence- always kept his cool. Karate is only for defense after all. Chan is far more disturbing in his emotional responses. We learn that his wife and child were killed in a car accident and he keeps her car in his living room, repairing it year after year.

In the 80s, Daniel Larusso had nothing to teach Mr. Miyagi. He was the student and he learned from the teacher. They became friends and you could see the joy it gave Mr. Miyagi. In this version, Jaden is a smart ass who has the wise moments and educates us all on the power of not giving up. Oh and his dad is dead, so that makes him wise too.

Then there is the kung fu. I assume that the writers went with kung fu over karate because its more cinematic. Karate involves short, straight motions while with kung fu you can have a kid can flip over another kid’s head and drag him to the mat with his pinkie toes after training for six weeks. Problem is, the movie is called the KARATE KID. Internationally, it is titled “The Kung Fu Kid” so, much like the metric system, the rest of the world gets the easier to understand information.

The kids that Jaden ends up fighting come right out of Crouching Tiger. I didn’t see any wires, but there was enough Matrix slow-mo to stuff an eggroll. So let’s see…Chinese kids have been training in kung fu their entire lives. Jaden works six weeks and is able to defeat them in a tournament with minimal injury. Sounds about right. We still have an angry opposing sensei but without the fun military background and steroid use. Our nemesis has a constant serial killer stare with none of Johnny Lawrence’s privileged background as an explanation. And finally, the faux Cobra Kai all jump ship and respect Jackie Chan as the superior mentor at the end. Karate can be so fickle.

In the end, we can sum it up with this order: 2,1,new,4,3. Star Wars fans have similar rankings with our Jar Jar Binks being Hillary Swank. Go see it, roll your eyes every time Jaden says something wise, and rock out to the Justin Bieber song during the credits. You’ll probably regret that you did but its summer and there isn’t anything good in theaters till Eclipse comes out.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Anyhows…Call me old fashioned, a fan of old flicks, a classicist if you
must…but I like some things to stay the same. No remakes. No prequels. No
reboots. And definitely no rehashing the same old tired stories over and
over.

Robin Hood is just another cinematic abortion coming out of the Hollywood
whore factory. I know, tough words. Perhaps a little angry. Maybe even
uncalled for and at worst…a little frightening. I apologize. It’s the
Zoloft 100 mg withdrawal talking, not me.

But, still no excuses Hollywood. Enough is enough of the old stuff made
anew. Robin Hood even literally robs the grave with the out of the age
bracket actors of Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchett. Not that they are
ancient and I love’em and their craft…but ummm…Robin and Maid Marion are
not supposed to be card carrying members of AARP.

Don’t get me wrong I totally get the re-teaming of Ridley Scott directing
the hell out of Mr. Crowe. “Gladiator“, exactly ten years ago, kicked
utter ass and changed the entertainment and Mediterranean tourism industry
forever. But, what that movie about the ancient past recovered for the
audiences’ viewing pleasure is remarkably lost in this attempt at the
Medieval.

It all seems to forced. Here…it’s “Gladiator” in tights. Love it or go see
Iron Man II again! Oh, and nominate us in February.

If historical cinema epics and history teach us anything, it is that no
one ever learns from their mistakes. The last attempt at retelling the
story of Robin and his Merry Men was the 1991 beginning of the end career
move with Kevin Costner. This was followed up with the “Men in Tights”
comical farce by Mel Brooks. If it takes a loser movie to be made fun of
with another loser movie…maybe it is about time we do indeed hang up the
tights on this classic tale.

I give it two Friar Tucks out of five.

Alice in Wonderland is a story we all grew up with. I’ve seen versions of the movies throughout my childhood with my favorite being the 1985 made for TV version with Sammy Davis Jr. as the Caterpillar who tap dances ‘You are old Father William.’ Everyone has a take on Alice. Even Woody Allen has his twisted version involving Mia Farrow and an acupuncturist. Being such a part of our culture, and especially the quarterlifer’s childhood, Alice is an icon. She inspires curiosity and whimsy- both fields that Burton is well acquainted with. Knowing that, I was still nervous of what he would do with one of my heroes. Remember how you felt before Charlie an the Chocolate Factory came out?

Turns out, Alice had a Quarterlife Crisis. No spoilers here you won’t get from reading any other review, but if you want to go in unknowing then consider yourself warned and go no further. Alice flees a marriage proposal and ends up in Wonderland, where everyone has been waiting for an Alice to save them from the terror the Red Queen. Most Wonderland residents don’t believe that she is the right Alice as she has changed so much. Alice, on the other hand, believes herself to be dreaming. Let’s see- a girl is on the path towards the life that is expected of her, takes a turn and ends up very confused and wondering about her identity. Sound familiar?

She quickly meets up with the Mad Hatter (take a moment to sigh at the awesomeness of Johnny Depp. I got tingles when he began to recite The Jabberwocky.) who is very sure she is the right Alice, but tells her “You’ve lost your muchness.” In a flash I knew that is what this is all about. A path we walk that becomes confused, unfulfilling, and unbearable is a symptom of losing our muchness as 20somethings. It’s incredibly hard to pinpoint what changes or how it changes, but in many ways, we lose our muchness.

Needless to say, Alice finds her muchness and manages to take her life where that muchness directs her. The story that gets her there is fairly straightforward and pits good against evil. This is my one true criticism of Tim Burton this time around. The books were intended for children and read as such. Even then, the characters present us a curious look at nonsense and madness. Burton’s version (written by Linda Woolverton of both Lion King and Beauty and the Beast fame) drastically scales down this depth of character for an audience of children. Rarely are his characters so black and white (though there are many many stripes). Our heroes often come from checkered pasts and our villains typically have reasons for their infamy. Here we don’t need to question which side we are pulling for and have no melancholy feelings towards the outcome. I suppose its hard to develop characters who have been developed for decades, but it would have been nice to feel a little more conflict in choosing our team. They are all mad, after all.

And are they ever mad! The acting all around was fantastic. Helena Bonham Carter plays her insane majesty with the perfection we knew she would. The Tweedles provide perfect comic relief, and Alan Rickman guides our way with the wisdom that only the Caterpillar could provide. Mia Wasikowska plays Alice to a tea (ha) and reminds us all that Alice was very comfortable in Wonderland the first time around. And then there’s Johnny. I’ll leave it to you to critique his performance- but keep an eye out for the Hatter Futterwacken Dance.

A technical note as well: skip the IMAX, and skip the 3D. Usually I’m an advocate for 3D movies as a fantastic throwback to the 50s. But Disney and other studios are becoming guilty of charging us more and giving us less. Up was a beautiful movie in 3D, and the depth just added to the richness of the animation. Here, we almost get classic 3D schtick with swords headed our direction and flying debris. Not worth the extra money nor the red indentation we got from the extra heavy IMAX glasses.

The quarterlife experience is so often about losing your muchness. We lose direction, we lose passion, we lose focus, we lose sanity…but the best people are mad, you know. This version of Alice in Wonderland reminds us that sometimes we lose our muchness and that it often takes a journey to get it back.

One word: Great.

Worth the hype? Probably not. It is a spectacle to be sure. Please go see
it. Worth the $8+ dollars. Do not wait for the crappy audio sound system
in the dollar theatre or unreliably think your pseudo home surround system
woofer will be able to handle the sheer volume of sound. Nor will your new
Christmas gift to you, the plasma television, be up to snuff.

Again, great flick.

But outside of ear drum busting booms, composer Horn’s beautiful score and
more CGI than the human eye pupil can absorb, the movie itself is a hodge
podge of Cameron’s other works. And it does not always work.

An awesome piece of cinema.

But, it is as if he took Aliens’ love of bad ass space Marines and
combined it with the sappy romance of Titanic. Let us all thank God,
Celine Dion was not involved and no one will have to put up with what
seemed seven hours of the inevitable boat sinking. Hell, even I wanted
Leonardo’s Jack to die just so he could get away from Kate. Oh, and the
hero of Avatar is named Jake. Come on Jimmy C, can’t ya come up with
something more original?

Check this film out.

Yet, even as the steam trunk romantic endeavor that so charmed us back in
the 90’s, Avatar fails to tug at the heart strings. Hard to really believe
love conquers all with blue skinned aliens. Action-wise it delivers and
then some. Drama and message, well I see it akin to Dances with Wolves,
but more subtle. At least with Avatar there is no guilt from the audience
at the buffalo’s plight.

No need to run, but jog to your local theatre.

I also applaud Cameron for trying to create a new Middle Earth; one for
the new Quarter Lifers and the X-Gen’s kids. There are already guide books
available for the mother’s basement dwelling geeks to learn every aspect
of alien tech, biology and culture. For sure to be a classic and with box
office ticket sales at $1 billion and change, it is already the fourth
highest grossing film of all time. And that is only 17 days into its run.
Titanic was on screen for nearly a year ending in $1.8 billion. Obviously
Mr. Cameron’s magic is still worthy of high praise, a few bucks and your
time. Life altering, no, but well worth the former.

My primary beef with the show is that it sets up its winners to fail. We spend weeks and weeks watching them sing great, classic songs live and then they churn out overproduced albums of “original” songs written by committee. Its such a departure form how we got to know them that you can’t help but be disappointed with the end result.

Few of the winners could be called musicians. In fact, many more of the losers are true artists. Daughtry managed to make a pretty decent career for himself. Jennifer Hudson proved she could act and sing her butt off. But by and large the AI crowd is packed with vocalists. Nothing wrong with that- the world needs people who sound great to collaborate with people who can write well. This year, Kris Allen and Adam Lambert battled it out for the top spot, but by the end it didn’t really seem to matter. It was widely acknowledged that they would both be getting record deals.

Adam Lambert, despite losing, has been far more successful in his brief stint in stardom than Kris Allen. He started his post AI career by singing the theme song “Time for Miracles” for the destruction movie 2012. Full of cheezy lines and a full orchestra, the song got Lambert’s name back in the media right before his album released. His biggest boost of fame has been the scandal that followed his AMA performance of “For Your Entertainment” where he kissed a male musician and simulated oral sex with a dancer. Combine that with Amazon’s $3.99 MP3 download price and the numbers for his first week were outstanding.

But numbers say nothing. How is the CD? An avid Adam Lambert fan (his Mad World made me cry during the season) I wasn’t really expecting much because of those set-up-to-fail reasons mentioned above. The first few times through, I thought my suspicions were confirmed. No one song stood out as a blockbuster- but then I found myself humming them as I went about my day. In the grand tradition of pop sugar stars, sometimes you have to get past the initial revulsion of the genre to get to what is really fun about a cd.

What I found really great about this cd is that even though it is written by committee, there are obvious nods to fantastic genres. The first track, “Music Again,” has terrific 80s beats- reminding me mostly of the theme from Baywatch (“Some people stand in the darkness…afraid to step into the light”). While that may not sound like a ringing endorsement, it hard not to dance around when it’s on. Plus, it includes the line “I want you body, mind, soul, ex cetera.”

Moving on, we get “For Your Entertainment” which is an S&M themesong if I’ve ever heard one. While it got Lambert some media attention, its far from the masterful songs found later on the cd. His second release “Whataya Want From Me” (I hate cute spelling by the way) gives us a little more of that rocker we saw on the show. It’s the first track on the cd that made me remember what I liked so much about his voice. He’s effortless and is able to instill such power in what could be considered a power ballad.

“Soaked” gives us the Freddy Mercury, Broadway inspired dramatic song that changed my mind about this being a pop piece of dreck. Add to that “A Loaded Smile” that harkens back to old Radiohead and you’ve got an album worth loading on your iPod.

There are plenty of songs that were obviously written to be club anthems, and more likely gay club anthems. The world needs these songs and I’m glad to hear them from an openly gay artist, but I think there there could have been two albums here. “If I Had You” is super fun and danceable, but nothing tops the Lady Gaga penned “Fever.” The first beats let you know that Gaga had to have been involved, and the lyrics directly mention a male significant other.

A truly successful album, to me, is one where the artist has considered the listening experience from beginning to end. Rock albums of yesterday were notoriously good at this. With iTunes dominating our purchasing habits, artists no longer feel like they have to consider that packaged listening experience. Christina Aguilera’s Stripped is a fantastic example of a pop album that succeeds in walking the listener through from beginning to end.

While For Your Entertainment is certainly piecemeal, there are some great tracks that are worth listening to. Take those good songs and add in Lambert’s versions of “Mad World,” “Whole Lotta Love,” and “A Change is Gonna Come” from his performances on American Idol and you’ll have one heck of a CD.

Last weekend, I thought I was going to see the new George Clooney film. Instead, I found myself examining my metaphoric life on film, and loving it.

The main premise of Up in the Air focuses on the routine life of Ryan Bingham (George Clooney), a bachelor whose philosophy is to have as few personal relationships as possible. He flies from one city to another, serving as a “career transition counselor,” helping to ease corporate layoffs. Bingham fondly considers the airport terminals home and his goal in life is racking up American Airlines mileage.

My quarterlife radar turned on when Bingham is forced to work side-by-side with Natalie Keener (Anna Kendrick), an overconfident, tech-savvy, and to be frank – obnoxious fresh Cornell grad. Natalie is uptight where Bingham is suave. She is idealistic where he is realistic. She packs a travel-size neck pillow on her first business trip; he lives life on one carry-on bag. Yet, despite their apparent differences, they find a way to teach each other something new. She learns from him how personal a job can be, and the measure of compassion it takes to be effective. He learns from her that life’s dreams are nothing if they are achieved alone, without anyone to share it with. Each has wisdom to impart and assists in the other’s moment of realization.

Especially for quarterlifers, it’s refreshing to see our most annoying qualities on the big screen and recognize it in ourselves. It’s a gentle but heartwarming reminder that we have so much yet to experience. In the end, the moviegoer is left feeling gratified by Up in the Air. Each part of the film – the humor, the zinger lines, the subtle soundtrack and editing – contributes to make this a very worthwhile experience. Highly recommended.

With that, I was looking forward to P&P&Z with the same regard that I was looking forward to Snakes on a Plane. The concept sounds awesome, right? Let’s take something classic and add zombies. Zombies are a little like bacon- everything is better with them. But for me, there weren’t enough zombies to counteract the antiquated story of girls looking for love despite their social position.

It’s not for me to critique Pride and Prejudice. The masses have spoken and it is one of the best loved books of all time. What I do know is zombies. I love the social commentary that is inherent in a good zombie story. These aren’t people who chose to be brain hungry monsters. They are people who, perhaps only moments before, were the parents and children and spouses of our lives now trying to get to our squishy grey parts.

Seth Grahame-Smith doesn’t quite understand this goldmine of emotional turmoil and conflict that he has at his disposal. For the most part, the zombies are an afterthought. Instead of Miss Elizabeth Bennet being a classic wit, she has incredible zombie killing skills learned in China from a Shaolin master. This means that occasionally as the undesirables attack she and her sisters are able to perform some fancy shows of ninja skills and behead a slew of dead. These zombies might as well be wearing red shirts and landing on an alien planet. In the movie version, they will be referred to as “Zombie number 2” or “Zombie in ball gown”.

He does make an impression with the reworking of one story arc. *Spoiler Alert* Elizabeth’s close friend Charlotte Lucas marries Mr. Collins in the original version to avoid being a spinster, despite her lack of love for the man. In the zombified version, Charlotte has been bitten by the undead and will slowly fall victim to the plague. She decides that a few happy months of a loveless marriage and a husband who will properly behead her at her demise is better than no husband at all. Here, we see the true struggle of the zombie plague. Elizabeth is forced to watch her friend slowly grow paler and more bloodthirsty, unable to do anything to stop her inevitable end. Here we see the true pain of the plague. Here we know what it is to live day to day in a world overrun with the brainthirsty.

If you really want a post-apocalyptic view of a zombie world I recommend the trilogy Monster Island, Monster Nation, and Monster Planet by David Wellington. You can also pick up The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks and his followup World War Z. All of these are better than Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and all will give you a deeper understanding of the complex politics involved in zombie revolutions and perhaps help you to prepare for the day when the undead walk amongst us. When that day comes, don’t turn to Jane Austen for advice.

I don’t have the new album, but her second album, Girls and Boys, comes into fairly frequent rotation on my iPod. Its the first appearance of the song “The Way I Am” which made its way into various tv shows where quirky romance was involved. Her voice evokes the sweetness that you want in a primetime dramedey. Much more compelling than “Maybe”, this song gives us jewels of poetry like, “I’ll buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair/Sew on patches to all you tear.” Its the kind of sweet, oddball songwriting that makes you want to press play on your “quirky girl” playlist featuring Bijork and Regina Spektor.

But more than just being precious, Girls and Boys showed the potential of Ingrid Michaleson. The downfall is certainly the one-track-mindedness of the content. If you’re in a relationship, getting out of a relationship, longing for a relationship, or have ever had a relationship then you’re prime for Girls and Boys. The first track “Die Alone” is one of my favorites for its great pacing and ultra catchy hook, but I can’t endorse the theme of “I never thought I could love anyone but myself/ Now I know I can’t love anyone but you/ You make me think that maybe I won’t die alone/ Maybe I won’t die alone.”

Quarterlifers have so much to consider when it comes to relationships. Most of our parents were married at this stage in our lives, many of them were already changing our diapers. While Ingrid Michaleson is fun to listen to on occasion, she starts to wear on me with her longing for love. I don’t like to judge too quickly when it comes to matters of music, so I purchased her third album Be OK. A little lighter on the sap, I’m left feeling like this was an album with a deadline. Out of 11 tracks, we have four live tracks- one of which is a duplicate of “The Way I Am” as well as a cover of “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” and “Can’t Help Falling In Love.”

The saving grace for the album is the last studio track entitled “You And I.” Yes, still about relationships, the lyrics give us a little more to cling to. “Let’s get rich and give everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance” is the line that sealed it for me. Its these out of the blue odd lyrics and the quality of Michaelson’s voice that keep me listening. If she can find something else to talk about other than heartbreak, I’ll be a true fan. Until then, I’ll cycle her in between Garfunkel & Oates.

So finally around noon that day the almighty Steve allowed me to download Blackout (named for the philosophy of blacking out negativity and embracing life). I didn’t expect the album to be good. At (what we all thought must be) the height of her craziness, she releases an album? There is no way it is going to be good. But I knew something on it would be fun enough to warrant a purchase.

And no, it’s not good. It KICKS ASS! Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s not a soulful collection of jazz standards or experimental indie tech beats. It’s the purest sugary candy of pop. I won’t be bragging at my Mensa meetings about owning it but I will defend it to the end. It seems as if the marketing team of Britney, Inc. has finally figured out what she does well- dance music for gay clubs. Every song is upbeat (meaning no more sappy pseudo ballads like “I’m not a girl, not yet a woman” or “Email my heart”) and actually varies in structure from song to song.

So far, the radio has grabbed a hold of “Gimme More” and “Piece of Me”. Satellite radio has recognized the genius of “Freakshow” with a heavy backbeat that requires a subwoofer and gems of poetic prose like “10 PM to 4 and I came to hit the floor/thought you knew before/ but if you don’t then now you know.” In the aftermath of her divorce, we reap the benefits with “Toy Soldier” that describes her need for a real man (“This time I need a soldier/ A really badass soldier”) and “Why Should I be Sad?” (“People and US magazines/Tell me who’d I do that for, who?”). Sure, the singing isn’t operatic, but that’s not what it’s for. With an incredible production team (Danja, of Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake fame produced “Gimme More”) Blackout has a consistent quality that makes the album easy to enjoy from beginning to end.

With her failed performance at the VMAs and the continuous court appearances / hospitalizations / paparazzi boyfriend / fishnet stocking sightings I think this album has been underrated. There is a place for Britney. It involves rolling the windows down and turning the volume up. Don’t be embarrassed. Learn the words and sing them at the top of your lungs on your next commute or as you get ready to go out dancing. If Britney has taught us anything, it’s to let go of your shame.

Click here to view the embedded video.