Let’s Talk About Sex

It was the pre-opening night viewing, and Silver City was flanked by a mob of fans dressed to the nines: high heels, dresses, baubles, and gloss. The moment the red, velvet rope swung down from its shackle, they began strutting their way to the front and entered the theatre, licking their chops hungrily not for the Bulk Barn candy stashed in their purses (though it was a deliciously sneaky way to beat the system!) but for a long-awaited visit from Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha. Sex and the City was back, and I had front-row seats.

Before launching into what I actually thought of the film, I feel the need to say a significant something about the background of the television show, and the lack of attention this history has been given in a variety of reviews about SATC: The Movie. Like so many film adaptations, it really helps to know where a story comes from in order to understand how it went from one form of media to another.

SATC: The Movie was made for fans of the show, and while it is comprehensible on a surface level to those who are new to the storyline, only those who have followed the six seasons will fully experience the weight of particular moments in the story, get a joke on multiple levels, or read into certain subtleties, knowing they hint at a deeper significance based on the past behaviour of a character. This, to me, seems like an obvious observation, but so many critics and moviegoers alike have chosen to view the film through lenses that are tinted with pre-conceived notions about the show, or without asking themselves why the film was made in the first place.

I’ve seen too many descriptions of the SATC women as value-less, sex-hungry flakes. Anyone who has actually watched the show episode for episode knows that this is not nearly close to the truth. Yes, these women have unrealistic wardrobes, extraordinary sex-lives (and we’re supposed to frown upon this?), and avoid discussion of their families, national holidays, and details from their past. But you know what? It’s a television show! The X-files wasn’t particularly realistic either, nor is Grey’s Anatomy, nor is Desperate Housewives, nor is Lost, nor is…Hell, even (especially) the news can’t be taken at face value. I have seen every episode of SATC, and though I have many of my own criticisms, compliments, and opinions to express about the show, I think it is important to say that SATC has many layers and at its core are a true value of friendship, self-respect, and the embracing of more (or less) traditional relationships.

The reasons Sex and the City had so many devoted fans are varied. If I had to put my finger on it, I would say that it is an incredibly relatable show that mixes the silly and the serious, forming a balanced, entertaining, and relevant production. My girlfriends and I have discussed it many times, and the recurring conclusion is that there is always an episode that mirrors something we’re going through. When feeling particularly down about something, knowing that Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha have gone through a similar experience makes us feel relieved to know that we’re not the only ones who have ever been through it. SATC may leave things like wardrobe cost to the audience’s imagination, but what they do shove in our faces are real situations.

Ever had a huge, honesty-revealing fight with a best friend? Watch Carrie and Miranda have a blow out in a vintage clothing store, and later break the silence with a simple phone call, reminding the viewer that friendships can be mature enough to put differences aside when someone is in need. There are episodes for silly issues that come up spontaneously in life, like dealing with disgusting first-date kisses, friends with bad manners who make you feel awkward, moving in with someone and then discovering their messy habits, farting in front of a person you’re romantically involved with for the first time, or doing something rebellious because you’re in a bad mood and then getting caught.

Likewise, if you’ve ever tripped over your own feet on a busy sidewalk, debated pooping in someone else’s apartment, left the world’s worst message on an answering machine, or plucked an untouched piece of cake from the top of your garbage and ate it, you can bet the women of SATC have been through it, too. Sure, it isn’t therapy, nor is a television show the only thing you should find yourself able to relate to, but it makes us laugh, nod, or grimace when we remember our own similar experiences. An embarrassing moment is made easier when you have someone to laugh it off with. Watching someone else go through it on-screen is both entertaining and a bit of a relief.

While the show deals with everyday experiences, it also tackles serious, life-changing events. When Charlotte miscarries after years of wanting children, we witness her dead-weight grief, juxtaposed with the ill-timed first birthday party of her close friend’s son. Just like in real life, SATC shows that shit can happen out of nowhere, without any regard for our personal convenience. Similarly, Samantha’s diagnosis with breast cancer brings to light things that many other television shows would avoid, but that people deal with regardless of the censorship of many other television shows: how does a sexually active couple deal with chemotherapy that kills the sex-drive of a partner? What is it actually like to go wig shopping? How are single women judged as victims of breast cancer?

These issues are not simply dealt with through the duration of a single episode either – the particular problems or experiences of each woman are woven throughout entire seasons: Miranda maintains her extreme independence even through the death of her mother. While many of us would react in the opposite way when losing a loved one, we can believe in the actions of Cynthia Nixon’s character because over the years she has been so well developed as a woman who will protect herself by toughening her outer shell no matter the circumstance.

Each of the characters goes through ups and downs many times over in each season, particularly the later ones. But the point of introducing issues like cancer, death, and various forms of heartache is not simply for shock value; it is to show how these mind-numbing issues can happen to anyone, and how a person can persevere through the various phases that come in the wake of trauma. I’ve seen these characters be rejected multiple times, but I’ve also seen them mourn, cope with their problems, learn from their mistakes, and become stronger all through an entire season or two.

And what about the dialogue? It’s a shame that many critics focus on flakier conversations about ex-boyfriends or a look that someone took the wrong way – one of the main reasons so many intelligent women became hooked on the show is that the writing is so good! My personal favourites are the witty and introspective conversations between Carrie and Miranda, arguably the group’s more intellectual pair, as they stroll through various Manhattan neighbourhoods. What punctuates these otherwise “normal” conversations are the sharp quips the women effortlessly slide into their speech. This is so refreshing. Women don’t often get a chance to show off their wit in the media, and while SATC does indulge in goofy, slapstick comedy, its main draw for many of us is the quick-witted and clever dialogue that is a constant in each episode. We’re not talking baited, laugh track, Everybody Loves Raymond humour; we’re talking the volleying banter of smart people that makes the audience grin knowingly and then chuckle when remembering it later.

As for the film, well, contrary to the popular opinion of many others in my calibre of fandom, I didn’t like it. I had been expecting a film with all of the charm, wit, emotional ups and downs of a season of the show simmered down into an intricately woven, unique cinematic masterpiece (as opposed to a pop-produced, cash-grabbing blockbuster). What I got was a long, stretched-out episode that used cliché Romantic Comedy gimmicks to carry it for over two hours. Part of what made SATC so original was that a viewer often never really knew what was going to happen next, or at least never really knew what great line one of the characters would spout. Instead, I felt I could predict every outcome while watching the characters go through some of the hugest rifts in the history of their relationships: adultery, loss of independence to a relationship, and one giant, sobbing, gut-wrenching let-down by Mr. Big – the series’ favourite character to villainize and then twist our arms (and our legs, and our necks…) to forgive him.

Had this series of events occurred within the stretch of a season, I would have found it easier to stomach, but because these multiple calamities were packed into a feature film, I felt as though film quality was being traded for shock value. I acknowledge that sometimes life has horrible timing, and I know too well that friends often find themselves washing up from Rock Bottom simultaneously, so I don’t accuse the film of being necessarily unrealistic. What really got me was that I felt so crappy after having watched the girls go through such life-rupturing problems that I couldn’t snap out of my blue funk when the director flicked the Happy Ending switch for the last, glorious ten minutes of tragedy-wrap-up. I just hadn’t recovered in time; I was still mourning the blows of minutes previous.

I realize that a film adaptation of a television show can never compete with a multi-season chain of events that made the show so popular in the first place. Maybe I’m being too hard on the film – if so many other fans were satisfied with what they saw, I wonder if I was expecting far too much, despite the show’s originality. I have a hard time admitting that I didn’t like the movie, because I am such a huge fan of the show. I wonder if anyone else feels the way I do? And for those of you out there who haven’t watched the show in any significant, linear way and yet maintain to be an authority on the subject, I dare you to sit down and watch with an open mind (and maybe a snack or two). You might be surprised.