Office Romance Mantra

I can see why office romances are so common.

I understand their allure. It’s a social situation that isn’t diluted by booze, muted lighting, or ear-splitting music. The very nature of the office allows you plenty of reasonable excuses to chat and socialize. And then there’s the lunch break, which gives you an opportunity to get the know that special someone without the heightened stress and expectations normally associated with a regular date.

Face it: work is another venue for meeting new people. So much of our day is spent at work, and so it’s natural that someone at your job will eventually catch your eye. And for a person like myself, who doesn’t do the bar and club scene, work provides a rather convenient outlet, which is what makes the very idea of an office romance all the more seductive. Tempted as I am, I don’t bite the fruit. Never have. Never will. Why?

Because I’ve hardly ever seen a office romance work out.

I’m sure there have been situations where office romances have blossomed into something substantial and long-lasting. But I have yet to see (or hear) of an office romance ever yielding positive results.

I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve had to stomach the nauseating ups-and-downs that consist of the office romance: from the goo-goo eyes to the favoritism to the sudden fits of anger, office romances bring all the best and worst elements of relationships right in the workplace.

And I can’t fucking stand it. I’m sorry, but that kinda shit has no room in the workplace. I’m very old-school when it comes to maintaining a professional attitude and decorum at work: You leave your baggage at the door; shove everything to the wayside to focus at the business at hand.

But what if your baggage is not something that you bring but something that is constantly permanent that never leaves your work? What if work IS your baggage? What do you do then?

Well, I would think only one thing could be done – and this is assuming that the relationship has no hope of getting better – someone in the relationship’s gotta quit, or at the very least (depending on the size of the office or department), get a transfer.

And yet why do people continue to do this? Don’t they see that office romances are inherently problematic because they deny the very thing that, I feel, allows relationships to thrive?

Personal space.

This is not to say that work is a legitimate moment to bask in one’s privacy, but it’s nevertheless an aspect of one’s life that grants you momentary freedom from the drama that is family and relationships. Work affords you a moment’s peace from the daily conflicts and issues that cause even the most level-headed of cats to start working on an air-tight alibi.

No matter how great and understanding your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse might be, you need an aspect of your life that is simply yours and yours only. You need a space that is devoid of your loved ones, if only for the purposes of your sanity. That’s the very virtue of work: it makes you focus your energy on matters that you (ideally) have more control over. If you’re in the position of loving your job (like I do), work can operate as a form of escapism, allowing you to indulge in the passions that will forever elate you, irrespective of the current chaos that may be present in your life. It’s all about balance, and having your work and love-life co-mingle is not conducive to a balanced life. As far as I’m concerned, an office romance is an impractical endeavor doomed for failure.

Now, dear readers, I imagine you must be thinking: “Geez, Frank. Easier said than done. Not everyone can live their life like a damn monk.”

Yes, I know, I know. The temptation is and will always be there, and therefore impossible to deny. It’s crazy for me to have such ridiculous standards (especially in my case – I’m not exactly Don Giovanni when it comes to ladies myself), but at the end of the day, I convince myself that a couple of moments of bliss isn’t worth the indefinite cold stares, awkward silences, and petty arguments office romances normally bring. It’s not worth the aggravation.

That’s right. Say it with me now. “It’s not worth the aggravation. ” “It’s not worth the aggravation.” “It’s not worth the aggravation.”

And let me tell you: it is quite a Herculean struggle. I’ve been finding myself having to incessantly repeat this mantra more and more in the past few days.

Someone give me the strength…