Surfing For Love On The Net

It all started shortly after college. I was working a soulless “Office Space” job creating 3D bombing trainers for the military. You know, the type of job that gives you that warm fuzzy feeling inside about your contribution to the world. I had lived in the same general 100 mile vicinity for my entire 23 years of existence. The days of playing Mario Kart all night long while sharing drinks with good friends were becoming few and far between. I was trying so hard not to let the college days slip out of my grasp, but they were already gone. The only responses I received from companies I sent my resume and demo reels to were rejection letters. My last serious girlfriend was nearly 5 years prior and any date since then had been a joke. Maybe it’s because my idea of a good first date was taking them surfing in Florida hurricane swell, rock climbing or to a hard rock concert. The way I saw it, if they couldn’t deal with a little extreme sport action, the outdoors and a good rock concert, we ultimately were not going to get along.

What happened to all of my hopes and dreams? Was the past year an indication of what the rest of my life would become? A lonely one track path through the halls of corporate misery… I wanted adventure, excitement, love and happiness! I wanted to live on a tropical island, surf perfect waves every day and work at a job I truly enjoyed. That’s not too much to ask for is it? I just needed someone to share the experiences with.

I know it’s not the cool thing to do, but I turned to the internet for dating. American Singles to be exact. Bars and clubs aren’t my scene, so I could rule those options out for finding a quality girl. The workplace is a bad idea, but even if it was an option there’s not a great male to female ratio in the development of 3D military simulators industry. Anyway, that’s enough of my lame excuses for looking to the internet for love. At the time I was poor, so I didn’t actually subscribe to the site. However, if you’re internet savvy you can hide enough clues in your profile for someone to figure out how to contact you. A great thing about internet dating is the opportunity to learn about the person you’re interested in before actually dating them. Assuming they’re not lying, but you can usually tell who the fake people are. If she says she’s 18 and looks 16, chances are she’s 14. I mean, c’mon! She likes Ashley Simpson and her favorite movie is Hannah Montana in 3D! How much more evidence do you need? No longer will you have to go out for weeks before learning that your date’s idea of a perfect life is living with her Grandparents in the corn fields of Illinois with a collection of puppy magnets. The internet doesn’t always work out. There are a lot of kooks out there, but after only a couple tries I got lucky.

We hit it off right away on the phone and set up a date to go surfing the following weekend in February. There’s nothing hotter than a girl in a wetsuit! It turns out the waves were really up (a Florida rarity) and it was really choppy (not a Florida rarity). So, making the wise move I opted for a less extreme date of an evening together at Laundry’s Crab Shack right on Tampa Bay. Smooth, I know. She didn’t tell me until months later that she doesn’t like seafood. Anyway, the date was great. At the end of the night I gave her a peck on the cheek and headed home. I had to keep her guessing, but the truth was I already knew she was the one. Her name was Jana. She was so cute, exotic, intelligent and lived all over the world from France to Pakistan. She was a photography student at the Ringling College of Art and Design in Sarasota, Florida. Her favorite activities included surfing, camping, hiking and watching fantasy movies! How often do you meet a girl who loves to surf and digs The Lord of the Rings!? She was in to piercing, industrial music, Paganism and Buddhism! Basically, the perfect girl to bring home to my Christian conservative southern family!

We commuted back and forth to see each other nearly every week for months. Jana and I spent so much time together that I lost my job. I guess in the grand scheme of things I found love to be a bit more important than building kill switches for stealth bombers. Every weekend together was a new adventure. We surfed multiple hurricanes, slept under the stars at Sebastian Inlet several times, backpacked through the Grand Canyon for 4 days, had several road trips to North Carolina and the Florida Keys and I even attended my first Renaissance Festival and taught the LARPers a lesson or two about throwing a tomahawk. I wouldn’t have cared that much about losing my job, but it forced me to move back home with my parents and get a job close by doing graphic design. I love my family, but after 5 years of college and 6 years away from home, opinions on almost everything tend to differ quite a bit from your parents. But like most things, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. It gave me the opportunity to save some money and realize that graphic design was the career path for me.

I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life sharing adventures with Jana. An evening in August she spilled the beans about a surprise road trip for my birthday to our secret spot in North Carolina. A secluded location at the top of a beautiful waterfall that words can’t even describe and it was all ours. I decided that was going to be the spot to pop the big question. One evening before hiking down to the bottom of the waterfall I slipped the ring in to my pocket. At the bottom, wading through the water, I proposed the brilliant idea of searching for gold. I got down on my knee in the water, held up the ring and said, “Look what I found!” I’m pretty sure she thought I really found it in the water at first. The look on her face was shock and amazement. Then, I asked her to marry me. She said no. I went home heartbroken and have been writing poetry ever since. Okay, okay… she said yes.

We were married a few months later. Jana was 21 and I was 24. It’s been over 2 years since our wedding and while I’m no expert on the matter, I can say marriage has been awesome so far. We didn’t marry for financial reasons or because we had a kid on the way, but because we loved each other and it was something we wanted to do. Has it been happily ever after? Hell no. We have our fair share of fights and arguments. I’ve made Jana cry on several occasions and she’s made me, uh… almost cry a few times. We’ve had financial difficulty and family problems. We were constantly criticized for being too young, crazy or stupid. There are several people that would love to see our marriage fail. We’ve learned who our real friends are and what people really think of us.

There are many things that are “expected” of you when you get married. You’re “supposed” to settle down, work a steady job, purchase a home together and start a family. Personally, I think that’s all bullshit. The only thing that I ever felt pressured in to was purchasing a condo. I consider that decision a big mistake, but I don’t regret it. I learned a valuable life lesson; other people never know what’s best for you. Follow your heart and take everyone else’s advice with a grain of salt. For us, owning a home was an anchor and the economy sure isn’t helping the situation. Jana and I still have many years of adventures left in us. Eventually starting a family will be a great new adventure, but that’s one we plan on waiting another 5 or 10 years before embarking on.

We love each other now more than ever. Since we met over 3 years ago I have worked at 6 different jobs, started my own design company and moved to the tropical island of Oahu where I have the opportunity to surf perfect waves nearly every day. We left our condo behind in Orlando (it still hasn’t sold) and moved to Hawaii with no place to live or job secured. Now we live in downtown Waikiki 2 blocks from the ocean. We have 2 dogs that drive me completely insane some days. I have great friends and a loving family. Most days I am genuinely happy. I got the change I was looking for. Nobody can say what the future will truly hold for us, but I can say with certainty that I don’t regret any choices I’ve made in my life thus far. My dreams have come true and I can only hope most people can be as lucky as I am.