I had a WikiLeak once…

February 21, 2011

I had a WikiLeak once…

Seriously I did. But antibiotics cleared it right up.

And thanks to my fifth senior year at twenty-three, with whom I thought was an innocent freshman gave me mono to boot.

Ergo, the cliché slogans of “No glove – no love,” “She smokes – she pokes” or “Wrap the rascal” have more importance than ever for healthy quarter life sexuality.

Whether straight, gay, lesbian, bi, curious, trans, furries, pre-op, monogamous, player and whatever they come up next during Queer Eskimo Awareness Week…we have all got to take a responsible role with our bodies.

There is something like a new hepatitis being reported every week by the CDC. I think we are up to something like Q-4 on the alphabet. Roll into the Petri dish, super-bug staph, bizarre genital warts, good old HIV and about a 100 other mood killers and it is a wonder we can shake hands without a Level IV bio HAZMAT suit.

Heck, the outbreak of bed bugs on college campuses and Disney resorts tells you something is amiss.

So what is a Q-lifer to do? The old school days of condoms are just a memory. The Ring, dental damns and blood testing are fast becoming norms. Not being gross here…that is just the reality we live in. Your fist kiss these days might land you with a mouth full of acne.

And yep it is scary. But there are ways to deal with it and keep a normal, again, healthy libido, romantic and maturing QL lifestyle.

Here are some hints from my former Human Sexuality 102-304 course. She was a TA in the class. And yes, I dated her. She taught be so, so many things. But I ended up with a B-. Go figure on that. Well, now she is a MD of internal medicine in Baltimore. Dr. Tracy Connick helped me out with some good advice.

Condoms are still the best choice.

Float around the idea of what sex is really about before you actually do it. Ergo, think with your brain and not your nethers.

If committed to taking the next step in your relationship, get a STD blood panel. You owe it to yourself and others to get tested. It also makes a deep statement about your care and concern for you partner.

If you have a condition or not, you are accountable. And these days that means more than morally. In some cases, if you transmit a disease, you can be prosecuted in a court of law or have your pants sued off this time.

In your twenties you still feel bullet proof. You are not. It does not just happen to someone else. Odds are one in three of your friends have some sort of venereal disease.

Never put yourself or others in a pressure situation. Just say no is still a staple, but even in more innocent circumstances; never push sex on yourself or a partner.

It is okay to take your time. It is alright to ask about past partners or the health of another. It is fun to let loose. It is up to you about how cool it might be to hook up or wear a chastity ring. It is NOT, ever cool to take yours or others’ emotional and physical well beings at risk.

Be smart. Practice safe sex. But don’t freak out that a peck goodnight or some club rave mug down is going to give you Ebola. Use good judgment.

Get informed. Again, don’t go all hypochondriac or OCD. Relationships, random or committed are stressful enough. But knowledge is power.

Stay healthy. See your doctor regularly. Have good hygiene. Prevention is key. And for heaven’s sake wash your hands.

I liked the last one best. Mom’s advice about soap and water was right. And thank goodness that was the only thing she ever spoke about doing the nasty.

I also thought the whole knowledge, be informed was kinda cool. Sort of like those cartoon G.I. Joe public service advice segments. “And knowing is half the battle. GO JOE !”

So there it is in a nutshell. No pun intended. Weird times we live and love in, but we can get through the QL and further on with just a little caution and a whole lot of care for ourselves and others.

The Perils of Online Dating

February 25, 2010

You’ve tried them all- Match, eHarmony, Craigslist- and you’re still coming up duds. The QL crew talks dating in a digital world, with both beautiful results and hilarious disasters. Shout out to the “Lemon Guy”! Music by Danko Jones and Josh Canova.

Quarter-life Crisis?

June 17, 2008

Guest Written by:  Lindsay Love

So I just turned 27, at least a quarter of my life is now behind me. The sun has set on my childhood, my formative years, and sadly, my opportunity to use youthful naivety as an excuse for my follies and shortcomings. Am I experiencing an existential dilemma? Am I staring wide-eyed at a crossroads in my life’s journey? Well… no, I don’t think so, but I will let you know for sure as soon as I find some time to think about it. Right now, I am too busy finishing my Bachelor’s degree, working full-time, and most importantly, raising a 5-year-old little girl.

[Read more]

Love Is in The Crapper

February 20, 2008

Heart in ToiletEvery few weeks at my school I encounter a publication that continually changes my life. Whether that is for the better or not has yet to be determined. The counseling center has deemed that the best way to disseminate advice is in the public restroom. Not just in the restroom, but taped to the back of the stall door. They figure they have your attention for a few moments, they might as well inform you at the same time.

Past issues of the “Potty Papers” (their title, not mine) have concentrated on how to study for finals, eating disorder awareness, and giving. This month I was wished a Happy Valentine’s Day with the following Potty Paper message: [Read more]