Top Ten Signs That You’re Consuming Too Much Caffeine

10. When the new guy from accounting announces the coffee machine is broken, you threaten to slow-roast his ass, Folgers style!

9. You’ve stopped mixing Red Bull with Vodka and replaced it with Jolt Cola.

8. You are asked to leave a Starbuck’s after you show up with an IV and try to hook the cappuccino machine into your vein (innocu-latte anyone?).

7. You’re having the ‘jitters’ but they feel more like the ‘jitt-itt-itt-itt-itters-itt-itt-itters-ers-

6. You tell everyone you can see through time and then warn them about the dreaded Y3K.

5. If you don’t have your morning cup of joe, you become crankier than a one-legged diabetic at a candy store.

4. Your schedule has become really crammed: 8am Amp, 9am Starbucks Doubleshot, 10am Crunk, 10:30 Monster, 10:45 Jolt, 10:50 Full Throttle, 10:53 Rockstar, 10:54 Vault, 10:55 sniffing Expo markers…

3. You’ve started a letter writing campaign to your senator to ban the decaffeination of coffee as an unnatural act against nature.

2. You’ve earned enough Pepsi reward points to put a hit on K-Fed.

1. You keep having the same reoccurring dream where you and Juan Valdez ride around on a flying horse spreading coffee bean rainbows all across the world.