Top Ten Things You Tell Your Friend But Not Your Mom

10. “Only a loser would have married my dad.”

9. “I don’t think I’m really using my college degree.”

8. “That burning sensation has really gone down.”

7. “I don’t believe in God/Jesus/Buddha/Allah/Santa Claus.”

6. “Maybe I should look into stripping as a second job to support my Wii habit.”

5. “No, prostitutes aren’t that expensive in Amsterdam.”

4. “I don’t really remember much about last night, either.”

3. “My video on YouPorn got over 50,000 hits.”

2. “Let’s go out and nail some drunkies.”

1. “Drop your pants. I’m bored.”