Top Ten Ways to Save Money on a Date

10. Two words: Jack in the Box

9. Mention to your date before dinner that you’re an equal rights advocate, making it easier to suggest that you split the check.

8. Dinner and a movie = Hot Pocket 4 Cheeser and a VHS bootleg copy of a Styx concert.

7. A walk in the park – $0, meeting the folks at a family BBQ – $0, falling asleep under the stars – $0; The Perfect Date = Priceless.  No seriously, PRICELESS.

6. Explain that spending a “Snuggles” night consists of doing your laundry together and, it really will strengthen your relationship.

5. Planned Parenthood always gives out free condoms.

4. Ramen + soy sauce + fancy garnish = gourmet Thai!

3. Play Scrabble. It gives you the opportunity to ask subtle questions like, “How many points for ‘cunninglingus’?”

2. “Hey, baby. Come in. I hope you’re hungry. For the main course we’ll be having Michelena’s Swedish meatballs. And for dessert, I’ll be opening a can of hot Manwich.”

1. Trade in the champagne and chocolates for hooch and Pop-Tarts.