What NOT to Pack for the Return to School.

With economics as they are, so many quarter lifers are returning to the books and hitting the hallowed halls of college again. Some are attending the local community college, seeking the masters or more from the bigger universities while many are taking advantage of the online or distance education offerings.
And I say go for it. More experience, more education, more sheets of paper and parchment or initials after your name can give one more respect, green moola and better whole life opportunities. Plus, what else ya going to do? You might be stuck in the same cubicle for the next decade or forcibly made to vacate it by HR any day now.
But going back to school will not be the same as the first round. Or if you flunked out it might be…that is if you make the same mistakes a second time around. Do not drink the punch, attend to class, take notes and do not creep out the college kiddies by hanging around the “duds and suds” laundry mat slash bar looking for pick ups, free drinks or quarters.
So for those going back to MBA it, refresh your Microsoft licenses, choosing a new career path in dental hygienist or to find a real major instead of your bachelors degree in medieval literature or marketing…I have some advice for you. I will put it to the tune of the 12 Days of Christmas and it is sort of the what not to pack for the big college move. Except this time you are not putting your stuff in the back of the mom and dad SUV. It is not what to pack in your life when going back to school.
“What NOT to pack for the big college move…”

To the tune of the 12 days of Christmas…

On the first day of fall semester I am glad I did not bring with me…
The idea that you have to bring EVERYTHING!

And by that I mean your baggage from the last time you hit the books. Take it serious this time. And this is not an escape from the real world, but more of (and I know you hate to hear this)…more of an adult, mature, smart decision about your future real world.

On the second day of fall semester I am glad I did not bring with me…
A long distance relationship

If you are actually moving to another locale in order to go back to school, I am going to let you in a sobering fact. No one is telling you to dump him or her or give up on the love of your life. It’s just that the statistics say that you two are not going to last a semester apart. In a NASPA poll conducted during 2000-7 of various freshmen classes, only one in thirty high school relationships survived past the first holiday break. And it is my personal opinion the numbers would be the same for us so called adults. It’s up to you if it’s love city or dumps-ville…but don’t say we didn’t tell you so! All I am saying is think about it. With your brain and your heart…

On the third day of fall semester I am glad I did not bring with me…
Every technological device known to human kind.

If you actually hit the classroom, most professors are not allowing laptops or any techie devices at all. Too many security reasons and just plain rude these days. Pencil and paper baby!

On the fourth day of fall semester I am glad I did not bring with me…
Bad habits of old.

It’s your money and future now, not the parentals. You have no excuse that you are just a dumb college kid.

On the fifth day of fall semester I am glad I did not bring with me…
The desire to shame those around me with breaking the grade curve.

Okay, I said previously to take this decision to return to the classroom seriously. But, no need to be the older, non traditional student who keeps everyone after class time with nagging questions. Be a good student, but be cool at it as well.

On the sixth day of fall semester I am glad I did not bring with me…
Beer bongs, silly string shooters, water balloon launchers, Jaeger coolers and super soakers.

See bad habits. There is a time and a place for everything. And that is further emphasized according to the great philosopher Chef from South Park, “Children there is a time and a place to try everything and that is college.” That is the first time you went. And that stuff will land you in the slammer these days. No matter what the movie Old School says, no matter how you want to relive the Jack Ass days. Bones do not heal as quickly, felonies add up, credit scores do count and your rents will not bail you out this time. Plus, you can so catch mononucleosis and about thirty types of hepatitis from beer pong.

On the seventh day of fall semester I am glad I did not bring with me…
Too many ideas on how to decorate or set up my room

Bear with me. I have been lecturing a lot on the grown up side of this whole decision of re-matriculating. True it is serious stuff, but you can have fun. Just for shits and grins, go break out of the college mementos box or start anew one bad habit from the oldie but goodie days. Put that poster up or hang those Christmas lights. Turn on the Miller Lite sign. Drink your energy shakes one shot glass at a time. But only ONE bad habit!

On the eighth day of fall semester I am glad I did not bring with me…
Budgetary crisis

Money is hard to come by. Scholarships and grants hardly exist for graduate students. Still you should do your research. Set yourself up to succeed on test day scores and with your credit score. Weigh the fiduciary options before committing to the buying all those #2 pencils.

On the ninth day of fall semester I am glad I did not bring with me…
A closed mind

The return to school is a place that you will either further confirm what you hold true or blow it out of the water. AGAIN! It is a time AGAIN to expand you, your beliefs and your world. Nowhere else will you run into so many new people, new ideas and new ways of doing things. Vive la diversity! AGAIN!

On the tenth day of fall semester I am glad I did not bring with me…
Unrealistic expectations

Chad Rogers, Distance Education Advisor at Manhattan College says, “The greatest thing you can do to set yourself up for some hard times in continuing your education is to believe that college is what is portrayed in the movies or like it was back in the day.” For the most part, there are no Van Wilder’s, Old School and no American Pies. But, college is what you make of it, with solid goals for grades, social and general healthy living.

On the eleventh day of fall semester I am glad I did not bring with me…
Million boxes of Ramen, mac & cheese, peanut butter crackers, Capri suns, Red Bull, etcetera.

And if you have to return to Hamburger Helper nights…dat’s okay. Better days lie ahead and its puts perspective those $14 double dirty apple-tinis. A cold beer in a plastic cup can be a beautiful thing.

On the twelfth day of fall semester I am glad I did not bring with me…
Well, actually I WANT you to bring this…hope. A big decision has arrived and nothing this large, expensive, time consuming and life changing can be done without hope.

Good luck with moving and packing and NOT PACKING all the things you will need to arrive, thrive and survive your school year!