Where’s My Coin?

Christ, I hate internships.

Well, maybe I’m being a bit dramatic. I hate UNPAID, POST-GRADUATE internships. The very idea of them reeks of exploitation: companies feed off this reliable workforce because it’s full of desperate, eager, smart, hard-working people who’s only incentive is to move on to bigger and better things.

But before they can move on to the next life, these poor souls must deal with the purgatory that is the internship, the ever present go-between created for people who don’t have nepotism as an option to go up the ladder.

It’s not that I believe internships aren’t essential. For someone who needs to become familiar with the working world, internships allow young upstarts the opportunity to prove their worth to the powers-that-be, the gatekeepers, the bastards who can hire and fire your ass by whim. This holds doubly true for the film industry, a universe which thrives on time and money like no other; commodities which, of course, are always in very short supply. Assuming you were a businessman/manager who (presumably) worked hard to achieve their current level of status, would you want to bestow responsibility to some naïve, wet-behind-the-ears schmuck coming in from the street with little to no experience? Hell, no.

But what if that person has a college degree?

I would think that when someone walks in with a college degree, they bring with them certain assumptions, certain connotations. Most college kids usually work part (or sometimes full) time jobs which forces them to adopt skills which are not only vital in successfully maintaining a job and a decent G.P.A., but in the professional workforce as well.

What skills? Accountability. Attention to detail. Time management. Multi-tasking. Prioritizing. Communication. Adaptation.

But college doesn’t teach you everything. This is where internships come in. Internships fill in the void not covered by school, the skills and experience one can only learn by being thrown into the field. For example, the dynamics of office politics and dealing with clients are realities that can never be fully replicated in the classroom.

I have been lucky enough to have a successful internship experience. My first real job as a filmmaker was as a writer and editor for a documentary television series, a job I got through my stint as an intern. I proved my worth by applying a professional attitude to my menial (yet vital) internship duties which eventually landed me a paying gig at the company. It was the best of both worlds: I was making money at something I loved doing, while at the same time, in tandem with my film production studies, I was learning more about my craft as a cinematic storyteller. I got the experience, and more importantly, I eventually got the M.F.A. degree.

So why am I writing about my hatred for internships?

Because now that I’m finished with school and living in New York, it’s a different story. The only jobs I’ve been able to get since I’ve graduated have been unpaid internships. It’s like my work experience and college background doesn’t mean squat anymore. I feel like I’m starting all over again…

What the hell did I go to seven years of school for? Doesn’t an M.F.A mean anything?

Perhaps I should be a little more objective. New York is, well, New York, and therefore NOT Savannah, so obviously the competition out here is much more fierce. And truth be told, most film schools are more about the aesthetics, theory, and technical aspects of film than the nuts and bolts of the industry itself, so companies are always skeptical about how much a college student truly knows about, well, anything. Getting an M.F.A shouldn’t guarantee you a high management position, much less a Hollywood movie deal.

But what it should guarantee is financial security. All the debt I’ve accrued by going to grad school won’t go away by my throwing the bills in the trash while silently hoping for a real, legitimate film job. I’m tired of having a yearly income of less than $20,000 a year. I’m tired of asking my parents for money. I’m tired of constantly having to compromise my ambitions and goals because of “insufficient funds.” DAMN IT, SOMEONE THROW ME SOME COIN ALREADY!

But no. No one’s showing me anything. To wit: On more than one occasion while job hunting, I had instances where the interviews went EXTREMELY well; they were the kind of interviews where it was clear to me AS WELL AS the interviewee that I was qualified for the job. When meetings like this go this good, it signifies to me that it’s a done-deal. So, naturally, I asked what day next week I should come in to start.

“Well, we still need to look over some things before we make a final decision.”

And this was said by companies that had hole-in-the-wall offices and only six people on the payroll. They had just as much right to be selective as the lonely ugly girl being asked out by the Prom King.

“Still need to look over some things?” What the hell else is there to look over? I’M WORKING FOR FREE. My resume, degree, and reel clearly show I’m not lying about my skills, ambition, and level of commitment. What are you proving to me by maintaining this “illusion” of formality? Is it supposed to make me feel expendable?

Despite this seething hatred within me, after all is said and done, I’m now currently working TWO internships: one pays very little, the other doesn’t pay at all. Though I’m not loathing my work, I still can’t shake the feeling that I’m being exploited.

Especially when I open my mailbox and see those bills…