Zen Beer-ism

Sometimes inspiration comes when you least expect it. For example, last weekend I was at an Irish pub in upstate New York. The waitress had just brought an order of hot wings and another tall, frothy, cold beer. It was a dark amber ale with a good head and great body. Clear. Smooth. Rich. It was hypnotic, and I fell into its trance. The tiny bubbles floated to the top, each one like a little planet racing into outer space. Before long I was floating in the beer. I was swimming around the planets, giddy like a kid on Christmas morning. Okay, maybe I was a little drunk. But inspiration nonetheless struck, and my great realization came: beer is a metaphor for life.

I know this may sound like a fraternity initiation speech or an ode to the alcoholic. But it’s not. Beer lovers consider it both an art and a skilled craft. Beer has always been an essential part of our lives. Its roots are embedded throughout history. It’s said that the Pilgrims stopped at Plymouth Rock due to dwindling supplies, especially of their beer. Most of the Founding Fathers, including Jefferson and Washington, were brewers. And let’s not forget “Billy Beers.” But it wasn’t the history of beer that made me come to my realization; it was the process of making it.

A few days before my evening at the Irish pub, I attempted to brew my own beer, an India Pale Ale. The kit I used had more ingredients and steps than I expected. Gypsum powder, two different types of hops, a malt barley liquid, liquid malt extract (LME), and terms like “mash” and “wort” all made it seem very complicated. But after my intoxicating experience at the pub, I realized what it all meant.

Like all life the process begins with water. You add the gypsum, then the malt barley, and bring the mixture to a boil, otherwise known as steeping. This is the basis for your beer, or what we’d consider to be adolescence. From here on out everything that is added will contribute to your flavor and appearance.

Enzymes in the malt will break down the starches, or what some of us may refer to as high school, and produce a sugary liquid called wort. Once the wort has come to a boil, you can use cheese cloth to add various types of crushed grain. Though not required, this step adds to the overall flavor and color, or what we consider college.

Now, here is where it gets interesting. Once you’ve removed the grain, you can add your first set of hops. This step represents our quarterlives. It’s where the main flavor change occurs. The flavoring becomes dry, toasty, and bitter, but as a result adds longevity to the beer. Speaking for myself, I can say my quarterlife is having its fair share of difficulties. The flavors are definitely changing from the college years. Trouble with jobs and relationships, struggles with money, identity crises, and other unsavory factors will probably add to my bitterness. But, like beer, it’s essential in making that final flavor.

Once the first set of hops have been added, we’ll need a continuous stir to prevent the wort from boiling over - this I’ll refer to as a steady job. Then, we add the liquid malt extract (extra sugar). This step is important because it’ll determine our alcohol content and increase our value. These are the sweeter things in life: marriage, children, home ownership, and job security.

After our first set of hops and LME sugars have boiled for roughly fifteen minutes, we add the finishing hops, or midlife crisis. This, of course, finishes the flavoring, and extends the life of the beer to its fullest. Once the boiling is finished, you remove the wort, letting it cool. This stage, where nothing much happens, will be known as our fifties.

Now comes the fun part. We add the yeast, or what I will consider retirement. The yeast acts as a catalyst for the fermentation process, breaking down the sugars, and thereby creating alcohol. The fermentation process may sound bad, but it’s the best stage of all. At this point we can sit back and enjoy ourselves. No worries about adding any more ingredients, about boiling over, or about killing the yeast. We can just sit back, collect our retirement money, and ferment.

Of course, the last step is the most important. Once fermentation is complete, it’s time to bottle the product. And only when it’s bottled can you tell what your final flavor will be. Only at the very end are you able to know what all those steps and ingredients have made your beer taste like. And that’s life: only at the very end are you able to see who you’ve become and what your experiences have made of you. Other types of beers will have different steps and different ingredients - not everyone will follow the same process. Nonetheless, we tend to look for the same results: good ingredients, long shelf life, and great flavor.

So, if you come across difficult times, finding yourself lost and looking for answers, just look to the beer (metaphorically speaking). Let the beer take you home (with a designated driver). Drown yourself in intoxicating thought (thought, not beer). And don’t forget it’s all about that final flavor.